The PreCambrian Corner

Historical Pictures of Cities

2011-06-05T14:14:00.001-07:00

Another pretty astronomy pic

2010-10-17T16:43:00.001-07:00

Pretty astronomy Pic

2010-10-13T12:32:00.001-07:00

Panoramas around here!

2010-09-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

2010-05-26T14:24:00.001-07:00

This is a ball leaving a hand at a 45 degree angle at 85 MPH, could be leaving a bat. It's sailing, on Jupiter (orange), the moon (grey), Earth (blue), and the Sun (yellow). Without air resistance.

2010-05-26T11:29:00.001-07:00

On a neutron star, I could throw the ball 33 microns, about the distance of a large cell, or dust particle. And it would take about 1.3 microseconds to hit the surface.

throwing balls on other planets

2010-05-26T10:53:00.001-07:00

This is the physics of throwing a baseball on other planets. The first is if a pitch were thrown on Earth, the second the Sun, barely goes anywhere. The third the Sun, and the fourth on the small moon of Enceladus orbiting Saturn, where as you can see, it goes all the way from the PSU football field across town and the Columbia River. In all cases the ball is thrown at a 45 degree angle upwards from the ground, at 85 MPH. In all cases the horizontal velocity is 60 MPH. So the less gravity, the longer it takes to reach the peak and come down to the ground. On Enceladus the ball travels 8 miles and at it's peak is actually 10,742 feet in the air, taking 8.13 minutes to reach the ground. On the Sun the ball zips in about a fifth of a second (you are standing on the surface of the Sun), and travels about 21 feet, dipping below the surface quickly.

2010-03-30T18:27:00.001-07:00

Gaining and abiding in clarity!

Site Meter

2010-03-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

I don't know how popular my blog will be as it is created by such an irrelevent dilletante such as myself. But now, I created a sitemeter icon, see bottom. Now I can see just how popular this blog is with it's eclectic (and unusual) collection of my spiritual, scientific and political interests.

2010-02-06T13:50:00.001-08:00

I think this is a cool blog!!!!!

black swan flying

2010-01-27T16:01:00.001-08:00

Fossil spiders trapped in amber

2010-01-27T13:44:00.000-08:00

These are spiders from millions of years ago

2010-01-25T10:33:00.001-08:00

Google Earth: Picture of College Campus

2010-01-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

2010-01-16T12:16:00.001-08:00

Me and Nome in dialogue (pics)

2010-01-14T16:26:00.000-08:00

Dialogue between me and my teacher on August 2nd, 2009. It might be worth sharing, I thought

Me: As you are talking I get more of a sense of being all expansive, and just a lot of the things you are saying I have more of a direct experience as you are talking about them. And when I’m doing inquiry outside of here, it tends to be more of a mental exercise, and not getting to the more direct experience of what you are describing as how going into the, looking for the individual I, I only would find the real Self. But here in this room, I have more of an intuitive, visceral, sense of kind of not being an individual and being kind of all expansive. So, I guess it’s just a matter of getting to that experience as I’m walking around (laugh), and doing other things in the world.
Master Nome: What you are describing, is one among several reasons why scriptures and sages advise to keep holy company.
Me: Definitely.
Master Nome: That being understood, why do you say you are walking around? (smile) Isn’t that just the body? Indeed, how do you tell when you are in the room or out of the room? Obviously on a sensory level there are the walls etc. (gesturing to back of satsang hall). How do you know when you are in here, in the temple, and when you are outside it? Such as, lets say you have one foot out the door (gesturing, smiling), but one step Is still inside.Are you in or out (smiling with laughter)?
Me: (laughing) Well as you said, as far as the room goes, it would be on the sensory level telling whether I’m in or outside the room based on where the walls are.
Master Nome: Yes, and when you take your senses to be the determinance of reality, or define yourself in terms of them, you are on the outside even if you are on the inside aren’t you? (smiling, laughing). But if you transcend the senses everything is within.
Me: It seems like I was having some luck in here of transcending the senses, so I guess I really was somewhat within the temple. (laughing). But when I’m literally outside the temple, I’m also metaphorically outside the temple. (laughing everyone including Nome laughs with me)
Master Nome: That’s what I’m addressing. Being inside and outside the temple physically, is not of so much great significance. But when you take your senses to be determining what is real, and define yourself in terms of the senses, such as being a body, that really constitutes the externalized mind. A mind that ceases to believe in it’s own imaginings is the introverted mind.
Me: I suppose that would also apply to as you said, keeping holy company. Would it apply to that also? Because I definitely get something more direct in your presence.
Master Nome: How do you determine what is company or presence? (smiling). If neither you nor I are bodies, what then? (smiling, laughing)
Me: I guess by the level that I’ve transcended the senses, would be the level that I’m in holy company.
Master Nome: That’s correct, if you go beyond the senses entirely, and abandon the imaginings of your own mind, you are in holy company always. (smiling).
Me: Awesome! The main way I’m attempting to keep that holy company as we discussed on Friday, kind of focusing on eliminating things that are non-eternal, which would be perception, thought. What I was noticing while I was doing that while you were just sitting, is that most of the rest of the room including the other people in the room, kind of dissolved to some degree, and there was a white glowing light in this area (motioning to where Nome is sitting). But your presence was still very much there. And I felt like I was getting more of a direct experience of who you really are, which isn’t the form in eliminating the non-eternal.
Master Nome: Go on discerning. Make the discrimination deeper and deeper. Even light, just like darkness comes and goes. Something does not come and go. That something is the Reality, the true Existence. In practice, be sure to discern and to dissolve, completely destroy (gestures), the vasanas or mental tendencies. The tendencies to misidentify in particular ways, become attached in particular ways. In other words confusing your Being for some object including the body. Confusing your Bliss for some object, comes out as attachment. And confusing your own Consciousness with thought, which is delusion. (smiles at me)
Me: I’ve still between Friday and now had a tendency out in the world. You know, pretty constantly I’m focusing on this stuff, but still sometimes I get out in the realm of attachment and the things that kind of come from that. I would say attachment to the body is kind of the central one, and the fear that comes from that as far as the body being in a precarious position because it isn’t eternal.
Master Nome: So, to cease to misidentify with the body is to free yourself of a very precarious situation (smiles at me).
Me: Definitely!
Master Nome: Where the idea of embodiement is no more, and even the notion I subsides, there is no fear. (grins at me)
Me: So it seems like, whenever I’m getting out of that, to eliminate the non-eternal, and when I’m asking “Who am I?” I’m looking for the fact that this sense of individuality is not really real and I’ll notice that it doesn’t really have any form, and really what I am is everything, kind of all expansive and not this particularized entity that I somehow find myself taking myself to be on a regular basis. (laugh).
Master Nome: Alright, so the ignorance seems habitual, but a habit must be conjured up and adhered to by someone, otherwise it is insubstantial and really nothing. You are the responsible party (laugh). Which means that you can attain liberation then, freedom is within your grasp. The liberation is only from imagined bondage, but when imagining it, it seems solid, it seems real. If you find yourself slipping into it, dreaming up the old dreams of delusion again. Alright, when you finally discern it, ‘oh this is illusion again’, trace your way back inward, you will only be stronger for it.
Me: And by tracing is again, I think I come away everytime I talk to you, or get a letter/e-mail from you, I try to come away with methods. So different aspects, finding the source of happiness within if I’m wandering out, or eliminating the non-eternal or this kind of inward search for ‘Who am I?”, which seems to be dissolving, as much as possible, taking myself to be an individual, or to be that entity that is kind of based on thought.
Master Nome: Alright, it may seem at this point to be different methods, or different aspects of the same method. In the end you find that there is only one Inquiry, the mind made various interpretations along the way.
Me: OK, makes sense.

Apartment Panoramas

2010-01-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

I discovered the program autostitch allows for creating panoramas. These are panoramas of my apartment. Autostitch is easy to use by the way. Expect there are more of these coming.

Pretty picture

2009-11-21T11:49:00.001-08:00

Ulladu Narpadu (40 verses on What is)

2009-11-07T04:40:00.000-08:00

My teacher's translation. Parenthesis mean alternative words that could be used.

brackets mean words inserted to make it intelligible in English.

The 2nd prayer... (this is maybe one of my favs even in the Osborne translation)

"For those who have taken refuge, out of fear of death, in the Conqueror of death, The "I" thought (notion) is the first to attain death. Thereafter, in them [who] are naturally (by their own nature) immortal,How again can there be space for the thought of death?

Verse 1.By all, an original (first) cause (original essence) of the universe (world) and of the "I"It is said, the Lord (who is the powerful Master), someone with boundless power.Variegated here (in this) (In this picture here), the seeing one (the seer) and the seen, and The screen, and the Light, only (also) He, the One, became.

2. With naming the individual, the world, and the Supreme SelfPrinciples (verities), all suppositions (doctrines) begin.(Or: Naming the individual, the world, and the Supreme Self is inherent in suppositions.)This triad is so long as the "I"-notion will exist (be).The best of all is abidance void of the "I"-notion ("I"-assumption).

3. True or false, this is consciousness or inert,Suffering or happiness, thus to no purpose (vain) is the dispute (quarrel).The world is not seen, no "I"-belief (no going toward the "I") (clear ascertainment of no "I")Abidance without differentiation (without doubt), the Absolute (the Supreme) is aggreable for (dear to) all.

5. The body is of the nature of the five-fold sheaths (lit.: Which five-fold sheaths forming the nature is the body.)Without that does the world shine?Without the five-fold body, that, this here (now),Who at all see the world? Let them speak.

6. [Of] the form of sound and others is the entire world. The existence of sound and others is a mode of the senses made to appear (brought to light).The existence of the senses in the mind's power (control) is.Full of the mind (Composed of the mind) is that world, we say. (or: Full of the mind, therefore, the world is, we say.)

7. With the idea (thought, intelligence, mind) rises, with the thought (mind) sets.The world. Therefore, of the mind's (thought's) light is this.The abode (glory, splendor, light) [in which] the mind and world are born and decay (are destroyed, perish) is the perfect fullness,The real thing (the true Reality), devoid of birth and decay (destruction, perishing), the One.

8. Let them be spiritual practices for the vision (darshanam) of Truth,Worship (plural) of the Supreme with name and form.Abidance in the true Reality, the Attainment of that Self-Being (or: Abidance in the True Reality, the attainment of the state ((conviction)) of That is the Self),Alone is the vision of Truth (true vision). Thsu know (understand).

9.All dualities [and] all triads,[On] some thing (Reality) depending (on some thing taking support), shine.(All dualities and triads shine for some thing ((some reality)) that is the support ((for some thing upon which they depend)))[When] that is traced (sought), all are loosed and dropped.For them who see the Truth (Being), there is no movement ever (at any time).(Not to them who see the Truth is there movement ever.)

10. How can knowledge shine if there is not ignorance?Without knowledge, does ignorance shine?And "Whose are the two?" thus. Inquiring into the source (root),Abidance in one's own (true) nature is the Knowledge of the Supreme Truth.

11. Can that knowledge that does not know the one who knows oneself (the Self)Be Knowledge of the Supreme Truth?(or: Can that knowledge which is of one who does not know the Self ((oneself)))(or: Can that knowledge that does not know the Self, the one who knows,)Of knowing and of knowledge (or: the to be known), the support, oneself,The one who knows shall destroy the two.

12. Sleep is not knowledge. Perceiving (sensing, seizing, grasping, taking into the mind) is not knowledge.One does not grasp (seize, perceive) anything in true Knowledge.Different from teh categories of sleep and perceiving is Consciousness alone (indeed); Knowledge shines forth [and is] not a void.

13. The truth is the Consciousness-Self. Various (manifold) forms of ConsciousnessAre not established (accomplished) apart (different).True Consciousness is not divided.(lit, The Truth is he Consciousness-Self. It is various ((manifold)) forms of Consciousness that are established (as) apart ((different)) [yet] true Cosnciousness is not divided.(or: The Truth is the Consciousness-Self. Various ((manifoled)) forms of Consciousness are not established as apart [or] divided [from] the true Consciousness.)Can the change (transformation, modification) of ornaments exist trulyWithout the gold, seperately (apart), here in this world?

14. "That" and "you" have "us" for a firm basis. Upon the destruction of that "us" from (by means of) the knowledge of the root (source), Without the "that," "you," and "us" notion, the One State (Abidance, Stand) shines, the innate Self shall be.

15. The past (the having been, the gone) and the future (the to become) are the present (being) in [their] own time. Relinquishing the Truth of what is presently existing (the present), Will it not be laughable, repeatedly thinking over (discussion) [what is] gone [and] will be, Like counting without the number one, in the world?

16. Where shines (appears) talk of space (direction) and time without us? The play of space and time, here, is if we are the body. Nowhere we shine (appear) at no time we shine (appear), But we everywhere and always shine.

17. In the body being the Self, the wise (the knower) and the ignorant (the unintelligent) are alike (the same). (or: In the state of the body-self, the wise and the ignorant are the same). For the one, in the body, in the heart, the Self illumines, Including (encompassing, spreading over) the body and the universe, the Perfect Fullness. For the other, the Self is discernible as only the body (the Self is only the measure of the body).

18. For the ignorant and for the wise, the universe is (exists). For the former, the seen universe, indeed (alone), is the real (the true). For the other, the seen the resting place has become; the One, The Real (the Truth), the completely Full, shines as formless. (or: For the other, the One that has become the resting place of the seen, The Real, the completely Full, the Formless, shines.)

19. The talk (controversy) of fate and of effort (striving) shall be for Them who do not know the root of these two. For those who know well the root thing of fate and effort, There are not, indeed, fate or one's own activity (free will).

20. That seeing of the Lord [that is] the seer Not seeing, that shall be mental seeing. Not other than the seer is the Supreme, indeed. Of Him The seeing is in one's own source (root) the absorption (lit. having been aborbed, dissolved) and abidance.

21. See the Self, see the Supreme; Thus, the Agama (the scripture's) declaration. This is not an easy bhava (state, meditation, contemplation). (or: This is easy, not a way of thinking.) If the SElf is not, indeed, the seen, how can there be talk of the Lord? (how to seek the Lord?) Oneself becoming His food is that seeing (is seeing Him).

22. In the mind, the Light the Supreme grants (gives) (lit., having given), Oneself (Himself) within the mind (or: interior to the mind), He shines hidden. The mind is to be turned back within (interior to) the mind, here. From the union (absorption) is the seeing (wisdom) of the Lord, not otherwise.

23. The body does not say "I," thus. In deep sleep, Non one says, "I did not exist," thus. Upon the rise of that (which), all arise. Of that "I," with the mind (intelligence), investigate (make clear) the birth place.

28. Just as in a well of water into [which one] has dived deeply, just so, withinOne must dive (plunge) with intellect highly (extraordinarily) sharp,Prana and speech to be controlled (lit., having controlled), inquiring (reflecting on); One shall find the nature of the root one's own ego.

35. The Knowledge of the established Truth (Being) alone is accomplishment.Comparable to (resembling) a dream, indeed, are other accomplishments.The dream of one who is awakened, how can it now be true?Does one who abides in Truth (Being) again approach illusion.

Arunachala

2009-11-06T12:10:00.001-08:00

In Google Earth! I've been really into this sage named Ramana Maharshi. He lived here by this hill named Arunachala, which he considered his guru.

A picture of me.

2009-11-05T20:13:00.000-08:00

I had just written my spiritual teacher my madness and felt really intensely illumined and went to a Holloween party. A friend took my picture. I thought the smile says it all.

Picture of Spiritual Teacher:

2009-11-02T12:48:00.001-08:00

300th post!

Sivam Sundaram

2009-11-02T12:38:00.000-08:00

The wife of the Zamindar of Peddapavani, a frequent
visitor to the Ashram, came with her children last month.
She stayed for a month and went away a couple of days
ago. One evening, after Veda Parayana, she approached
Bhagavan and said, “Sometime back Bhagavan gave me
darshan in my dream and gave me upadesa. After that, I
realised my Self, but it is not steady. What should I do?”
Bhagavan: (amused) “Where has it gone without being
steady? Who is it that is not steady?”
Zamindarini: “That (realisation) is not steady.”
Bhagavan: “Where has it gone without being steady.”
Zamindarini: “That experience which I had does not
remain steady because of bodily ailment and family worries.”

Bhagavan: “I see. Say so. Those that come, come. Those
that go, go. We remain as we are.”
Zamindarini: “You must bestow on me the strength to
remain as I am.”
Bhagavan: “You have realised the Self, have you not? If
that is so, all the others disappear of their own accord.”
Zamindarini: “But they have not disappeared.”
Bhagavan (smiling): “I see. They will disappear. Vasanas
have for a long time built their nests within. If we realise
that they are there, they will disappear gradually.”
Zamindarini: “Bhagavan must bestow on me the
strength to make them disappear.”
Bhagavan: “We will see.”
The next day about the same time she stood humbly in
the presence of Bhagavan and said, “Bhagavan, it is not
possible for a married woman to stay on in the presence of
the Guru for any length of time, can she?”
Bhagavan: “The Guru is where one is.”
Zamindarini: (still unconvinced) “Should one look upon
the whole world as Brahman or should one look upon one’s
own Self as the most important?”
Bhagavan: “We exist. And the world is Brahman itself.
What then is there to look upon as Brahman?”
She was taken aback and stood still. Whereupon
Bhagavan looked at her compassionately and explained
further: “As you know we undoubtedly exist. The world also
exists as Brahman. That being so, what is there that one
could see as Brahman? We should make our vision as the
all-pervading Brahman. Ancients say, ‘Drishtim jnanamayim
kritva pasyeth brahmamayam jagat’. The world is as we see it. If
we see it as material, it is material. If we see it as Brahman, it
is Brahman. That is why we must change our outlook. Can
you see the picture in a film without the screen? If we remain
as we are, everything adjusts itself to that attitude.”

Overjoyed at this and fully satisfied, she came out and
sat on the step on the verandah which is opposite to
Bhagavan’s couch. Bhagavan was sitting on the couch in his
characteristic pose, silent as usual and with a smile on his
face. Looking at the radiant face of Bhagavan, she said
involuntarily, “Ah! How beautiful Bhagavan is!” A devotee
who heard the exclamation approached Bhagavan and said,
“She is saying how beautiful Bhagavan is.” With a slight nod
of his head Bhagavan said, “Sivam Sundaram”

It's red and sparkly and other 'pics'

2009-10-30T12:37:00.003-07:00

It's red and sparkly and other 'pics

2009-10-30T12:37:00.001-07:00

Saints and halos.

2009-10-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

I've had as I've mentioned this suspicion that Barack Obama is a jnani, fully enlightened. I thought this was noteable, I saw this on Google video. I thought it was a joke, about his perceived greatness by many people. But then when I clicked on this link, it was a normal Obama video. It just so happened in the link, the seal was in the right location to 'appear' as a halo. Compare to halo of st. Catherine of siena

Pretty

2009-10-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

Someone else dialoguing with my sat-guru!

2009-10-26T14:57:00.000-07:00

N.: Do you really think happiness will come to you, let alone
permanently, through bodily sensations?
Q.: Well, that has not been my experience, but I have postulated
that many times.
N.: So, you have experimented quite a bit, all these years,
with an uncountable number of sensations, and they have not
made you happy. You can use the encyclopedia of your own
experience to point you in the better direction. Do you know the
purpose of life? Your life is not purposeless.
Q.: The thing that comes closest in my story is justice.
N.: What do you mean by justice?
Q.: Fairness, opportunity, no starvation, people have a place
to sleep, some kind of security.
N.: These are all noble ideals. Where does their nobility stem
from?
16
Q.: I read them in a book.
N.: Where did the book writer get them from? (laughter)
Q.: Dr. [Martin] Luther King.
N.: Where did he get them from?
Q.: He said he got it from God, but I do not know that to be
the truth.
N.: You just like the fruit of it, but you are not sure of the
root, is that it?
Q.: Yes. The just always felt to me the purpose and great
highness. I do not know that to be the truth.
N.: What is true?
Q.: Real. It is an impact of what is happening. I am not sure
I can explain it.
N.: Perhaps, you should find out more about that. What is
real? What is true?
Q.: Going back to sensations, that has been my measurement.
N.: Your senses perceive such a small amount. How could
you find what is true and real in that way?
Q.: Very little. I have not always known that. I was brought
up in a very narrow thinking type of mode, strong suppression
of emotions, and all that kind of stuff.
N.: All that is ancient history. You can not use that as an
excuse for the present state of mind.
Q.: No, I do not want to do that. I am just telling you where
I came from.
N.: Finding out what is true, what is real, is essential and has
a lot to do with the ultimate or highest purpose of life. It has a
lot to do with the source of all the things that are good, beautiful
and virtuous, some of which you were describing. They have
a source. Some call that source God, some call it the Self, and
some call it Brahman. There are many other terms for it as well.
17
If you find out deeply within yourself, in full experience, what
that source is, you will be fulfilling the purpose of life and you
will find a happiness that never comes to an end.
I will give you a hint that is quite common in Advaita
Vedanta teaching to finding out what is true. The first consideration
regarding what is true, what is real, is that it is always, eternal,
ever-existent. If something comes and goes, it is considered
unreal. Only that which endures, without a moment's interruption—
and is consequently beginningless and endless—is real.
The only thing that is regarded as true about you is, likewise, that
which is all the time, without a beginning or birth, and without
an end or death. What comes and goes is just accidental and
not true about you at all.
Not one of your sensations endures forever. They are very
short-lived. What you have known through them is not at all the
truth. If you want to know the truth, find that which is existent
always, never interrupted, and not sporadic. How can you find
that which exists always? Start with your own existence.
Q.: Is that the body?
N.: No. The body comes and goes. It has a birth and a death,
and you are aware of it only in the waking state. It is not constant.
You need to look for that which is constant, uninterrupted,
and ever-existent. What has a beginning and an end is not
true even in the middle; it is just a false appearance. What is
truly real exists always and never becomes unreal even for a
moment. Search your experience, outwardly, inwardly, and in
any direction you like, and see if you can find that which always
exists. Once you have found that, you will also have found the
source of happiness that is perpetual, and this inquiry, this
Knowledge, this Vedanta, will become very important to you.
Then you will dive in to know that Existence first hand, permanently,
and you will be at the very root of all that is good, true,
and beautiful.
Q.: Thank you.
Om, shanti, shanti, shanti
Om, Om, Om (Silence)

Galaxy zoo

2009-10-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

2009-10-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

Fall

2009-10-24T11:20:00.001-07:00

Picture a friend took in St. Louis. I thought it was pretty.

My main focus.

2009-10-22T21:14:00.001-07:00

because of whatever reason, asperger's syndrome, mental health issues what have you. My primary focus becamse spirituality, correspondence with a guru, Self-inquiry. Any time my attention veers away from this, i start getting really deep into suffering. So it keeps my attention on this, almost to the exclusion of all else. that's my experience.

Siva Lingam

2009-10-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

Krishnamurti dream

2009-10-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

In my dream last night I was at SAT temple, and [Nome] was out,and in his place Jiddu Krishnamurti visited and gave satsang,I was sitting back with my mom, and sister, my dad was somewhere,and on the right side I saw an apparition of a young Krishnamurti.I told my mom and sister, they didn't seem to believe me or see it'simportance. Then I got so deep into peace, I felt I could die.But was o.k. from grace. And then Krishnamurti afterwards cameto where I was sitting and shook my hand. I stood by him excitedly and my sister and mom. And felt that presence of the Selfin his presence. I told my dad again about the apparition of theyoung Krishnamurti. He didn't seem to believe me. Krishnamurtithen stared at me, then at my dad and suddenly in front of my dadturned into this shrunken, disturbing shape and was looking at mydad. It was then that I remembered that Krishnamurti had diedin 1986. I told my family that, and then they seemed to seethe supernatural significance of what I was experiencing.

Size Scale Lyrics (attempt)

2009-10-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me to write lyrics on this topic, here it is.

In a state of Blissful harmony, everything from the galactic to the atom.
Many levels of meaning that unfold in the course of perception.
If a year were a second, the dinosaurs went extinct 2 years ago.
If the Earth were indeed a globe. The sun is a 36 yard diameter fire ball.
If a light year were an hours drive, the earth (microscopic) is 5 feet from a marble Sol
If an angstrom were a millimter, a cell would be the size of a building.
Each protein molecule the size of a fist. DNA the thickness of a rope.
Walking along a silicon wafer, or along a microscope slide.
All of this arose to me, Who am I? Where did I come from? Pure Blissful
Consciousness left over, it doesn't admit of space, and even less so time.
Resting in that, it fills my whole Being.
If a year were a second, animal life arose 19 years ago.
If the Earth were indeed a globe. It is 2 miles from the Sun, 30 feet from the moon.
If a light year were an hour's drive, the nearest star (a marble) would be the thickness of Oregon away.
If an angstrom were a millimeter, an atom would be a salt grain, a mosquito 60 miles long.
Each cell the size of a building, each protein molecule the size of a fist, racing and zooming,
doing various tasks. Some run the metabolism factory the mitochondria, some make
other proteins using the Bible Genome, their holy scripture. A whole civilization within the mosquito,
within the spider, within the cat, within the human. Down to the atom, size of a grain
of sand.
For whom did this arise? And what is my real nature? Is there something objective apart?
Are there other people? Is there a universe? Do I really exist? And who am I?
Each of these things arise and disappear in my awareness. All the products of my thinking,
all the perceptions, all the colors. All the experiences, they came and they went.
All the friends. All those I disliked. My various moods, modes, flavors, experiences.
Levels of meaning like a cacoon within me, they unfold and all the tendencies to worry,
dissolve as the deeper meaning unfolds into the butterfly of a deeper awareness.
If when a year is a second, the Big Bang occured 540 years ago. The Universe started.
If when the Earth is indeed a globe, Jupiter fills the space of a living room. Where would I sit?
If when a light year is an hour's drive, I have to travel around the world to reach a Betelgeuse
the size of a house. Is it worth it?
If when an angstrom is a millimeter, a strand of hair is a 10 city blocks thick. Each cell,
protein clearly visible along this huge structure a hair.
So then, you tell me what is real?

2009-10-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

Every blog needs Starry, starry night

2009-10-11T14:19:00.001-07:00

Brilliantly they put this up as the astronomy picture for the day, it was just asking to be commandeered or appropriated.

Guru's latest response

2009-10-09T16:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Kassy,

Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

Namaste. Thank you for your numerous recent messages.

Your messages express both worthwhile spiritual reflection and

repetitive patterns of thought. They do not have equal validity. One

reflects that which is true and profound, while the other is mere repetition

of imagination given undue emphasis. The latter is based on egoism and

non-comprehension of the source of happiness and lends itself to worldly

craving and fear. The former is of the nature of sattva and points in the

right direction, which is the nirguna (quality-less) Truth. Examine the play

of your mind, discern, and direct accordingly.

At the root of your ideas are the definitions that are

misidentifications. The root of all misidentifications is the assumption of

individuality, or ego. Inquire to become free of all of them.

The abandonment of misidentifications reveals the true Self. Such is

inquiry.

The Self is actionless. It remains so regardless of the activity or

inactivity of the body. Likewise is the Bliss of the Self.

That which is vast, eternal, deep, infinite, utterly beyond the

personality and its concerns, bliss itself, illimitable Consciousness,

formless, constant, imperishable, and nondual, and so knowing which there is

nothing else to experience, is ever cherished by the wise. Focused on that,

devoted to that, inquiring to know that, finding the utter insignificance of

all else in light of that, with that as their support, delighting in that,

absorbed in that, the wise realize that to be the sole-existent Reality and

remain completely content, as peace in the perfect fullness.

Ever yours in Truth,

Nome

Balisong

2009-10-09T12:46:00.000-07:00

I was learning Filipino Martial arts for a while, and one of the weapons used is a

Balisong.

Om

2009-10-09T11:40:00.001-07:00

Nome's September Responses

2009-10-07T18:29:00.001-07:00

Dear Kassy,

Namaste. Thank you for your message.

Though the Maharshi's body had tremors, I have not seen anywhere or
heard from anyone that they were due to Parkinson's disease. Nowhere is it
reported that Sri Bhagavan ever said that the diseases of his body were due
to the karma of others, though there are a few writers who have made such
comments. No, the PD and its symptoms are not due to you. It is far more
likely, according to one of the prevailing medical theories, that exposure
to agricultural toxins at an earlier time in life is the causal factor for
the degeneration and destruction of certain neurons thought to be the case
in patients with PD, and all of that precedes by a considerable time the
appearance of symptoms that can be diagnosed, much less observable by you.
So, abandon such ideas, and continue to inquire to find that which is
blissfully immortal.

Ever yours in Truth,

Nome

Dear Kassy,

Namaste. The satsang hall has changed over the years, and, of
course, when it was located in different places prior to 1989. The
Maharshi's picture has always graced the satsang hall. For example, in 1978,
there was the Maharshi's picture and Nataraja murti (statue), though the
murti was much smaller. The Siva linga (stone symbol) that is now in the
inner shrine used to be under the arches on the north side of the satsang
hall. At the same time (mid 1990's), the wooden lingam that now is in front
of the murti of Ardhanarisvara in the satsang hall was below the picture of
Sri Ramana in the inner shrine. There have been other changes, too. The
manifested is subject to change, yet the Truth remains timelessly the same.

Ever yours in Truth.

Nome

Dear Kassy,

Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

Namaste. It is good that you are striving to overcome the vasanas
mentioned by you. Those tendencies that one has repeated frequently and with
much emphasis may require perseverance to transcend, but, upon their
dissolution, are found to have consisted of mere imagination. Inquire.

Since this is the second time in recent messages that you have
referred to a site that engages in defamation (i.e., intentionally
expressing falsehoods ((lies)) with malice), you may find it useful to read
certain entries included in the "archives" article in the 4th quarter issue
of Reflections. This is mentioned solely for its potential usefulness in
application in your own spiritual practice. The issue will be out by the end
of this month. The printed version is given to SAT members, and the
electronic version usually appears on the SAT website fairly soon thereafter
for free to those interested anywhere. One or two of the letters included in
that article relate to peaceful detachment toward what certain individuals
may think of one, the delusive nature of the formation of opinions about
others, what makes for gullibility when exposed to such propaganda, and
several other related ignorant tendencies that pertain specifically to the
issue raised by you. Even the example set of unmoved transcendence in such a
case of intended "persecution" may also present further insight for you
about the cessation of the craving for acceptance and its concomitant fear
of rejection. Therefore, reading such when it becomes available may be of
some benefit. Of course, no attempt is made in those letters to contradict
the falsehoods, for spiritual reasons explained in those letters; moreover,
in a pragmatic sense, anyone can easily come to the SAT temple, listen to
the teachings, experience all that occurs here, read books and satsang
transcripts, listen to or watch recordings, speak with Nome directly,
meditate here, find out who participates in what here and join in or not as
he chooses, coming and going as he pleases, and plainly observe the facts
for himself rather than be under the influence of that deceit, so there is
no need for a response to it. Such would be superfluous and effort wasted
over what is trite and meaningless.
As for David Godman, as I am sure is the experience of others, too,
there is deep respect and appreciation for the wonderful service he has done
and is doing, and with his co-writers/translators, especially the many fine
publications that he has brought forth.
The apparent permanence and consistence of the illusory phenomena
within a state are according to that state and may be contradicted by the
experience within another state. That which is alone continuously existent,
free of change or diminution, regardless of state, is the Self, and that
alone is real. If you cease to regard as real or as the Self anything that
appears within a state of mind, including the notion of the assumed
individual "I" to conceive or perceive anything else, the Knowledge of the
Self will be clear.
May your inquiry be steady and deep so that this blissful Knowledge
is ever shining within you.

Ever yours in Truth,

Nome

Dear Kassy,

Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

Namaste. Thank you for your recent messages.

If you perceive the needlessness of the ignorance that is the cause
of what you may find deplorable, you will be endowed with compassion rather
than be swept up in anger, hatred, etc., which are rooted in delusion.
Furthermore, by the realization of the divine Self within you, you will see
the same Self in all and everywhere.

It is also quite useful to not employ the mind in sweeping
generalizations of people, such as the formation of opinions about them. Are
all people of a certain category conceived in the mind like that? Has one
even met all of them, let alone been able to know them? Even simple
questions can unravel the absurd tendencies of manifested ignorance.

The craving for acceptance and the fear of rejection are two sides
of the same erroneous concept regarding the source of happiness.

However you practice, for final Realization, you must know yourself.
How else is one to know the Self except by constant profound inquiry? If you
find various methods of meditation helpful to acquire concentration, then
use the concentration thus gained to dive into Self-inquiry. The inquiry,
though, is always available and does not depend on any preliminary method.
Self-Knowledge alone is Liberation from all of the imagined bondage.

May you continuing earnest efforts bear the fruit of steady
Knowledge of the Self, so that you abide in lasting peace and bliss.

Ever yours in Truth,

Nome

Dear Kassy,

Omm Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

Namaste. Thank you for your messages.

Concentration is a mode of mind that derives its intensity from the
luminous Self, yet is placed within the context of thought or mental
attention. The concentration may be external, that is upon some object or
the breath, or internal, upon some mental conception or mental image, such
being of a spiritual character. The value of such lies in the abeyance of
other thoughts, though temporary, and the faith in the spiritual ideal
contemplated. Dharana (concentration) is not an end in itself, and the yogis
say that one should proceed to dhyana (meditation). Such should involve the
dissolution of the mind or the transcendence of thought. This, also, is not
the end, but one should then enter into samadhi, your questions about which
were answered previously. The highest and nonobjective form of meditation is
Atma-vicara (Self-inquiry), which reveals sahaja samadhi or sahaja sthiti,
absorption or steady abidance in the Innate as the Innate, which is
Self-Knowledge. Such inquiry and Knowledge are jnana. The inquiry, thus, is
not a mere shift of attention, or the repetition of a mental mode, but a
profound questioning of your very identity to inwardly discern your Being as
it truly is. Such inquiry is inherently mind-transcendent.

You may find it helpful to refer again to the previous comments in
several messages about happiness, detachment, and viewing things in
proportion. Otherwise, as you can observe with some reflection, an idea such
as a desire seems to occupy your entire experience, just as, if one places
the small tip of his smallest finger before his eye, it seems to occupy the
entire scene and blocks out the view of all else, for example large
mountains, the sky, the stars, etc. It is perfectly alright to read and
reflect upon the same passages again and again until the inner comprehension
dawns. Some books, such as Self-Knowledge, are intended for such use.

From another angle of vision, from what you have been relating in
your messages, you can see how even one idea can continually rise and appear
so important when you project even a drop of that which is of the Self upon
it: happiness, identity, and reality. If, with wise discrimination, the same
importance were placed upon Self-Realization, for the sake of the direct
experience of that full happiness, true identity, and absolute Reality, how
focused, intense and consuming would your spiritual practice become?

A tendency many times repeated may require sustained effort to be
destroyed. Such effort should be perseverance in knowledge in the form of
profound inquiry.

From still another perspective, if you are destined to be married or
have a companion in the future, all the anxious thought and craving
concerning it will amount to so much wasted time and purposeless suffering.
If you are destined to live singly, all that anxious thought and craving
will be a waste of precious time that could be spent more joyfully and
wisely. Either way, the depth and purpose of life is to be found and
fulfilled within.

Find within yourself that which is perfectly full regardless of
whether you are alone or in the company of others.

If the inner understanding is clarified, and thus one is endowed
with inquiry and detachment that blossom as Knowledge, the actions will
become harmonious of themselves.

Humility is essential.
It is natural for anyone who
Abides as the Self,
Inquires to know the Self,
Comprehends the vastness of Brahman,
Knows the Truth,
Perceives the magnitude and depth of the great sages,
Considers the significance of immortality,
Sees the approach of death,
Notices the fragility and precariousness of life,
Contemplates upon God,
Observes the play of his own mind,
Discerns the insignificance of his own thoughts,
Considers the immensity of this mere, entire universe,
Recognizes the smallness of his transient body,
Feels the fullness of love,
Experiences the magnificent perfection that is always,
Or who has found Grace.

Ever yours in Truth,

Nome

Dear Kassy,

Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya

Thank you for your several messages.

You need not have any worry concerning whether or not it is
appropriate to write what you have written to me. If such writing benefits
your practice, perhaps as a means for gaining better perspective, use it.
The explicit details represent no harm.

Some of what you have written is, indeed, pointing in the right
direction. Yet, better than guessing, even intelligently, at the state of a
jnani, how the jnani views such-and-such, what the Self may be, what
Self-Realization may be, etc. is to experientially inquire and directly
realize. For otherwise, whether cloudier or clearer, it remains an idea, and
the Truth of Absolute Being, the self-luminous infinite Consciousness, and
the perfect fullness of Bliss are undoubtedly transcendent of any idea.

In your messages, you expressed how you have been engaging in
somewhat of a debate on certain websites. At some time, you may wish to
consider the value of such. Whether your viewpoint or that of another
prevails in such a debate, ask yourself what purpose it serves. Is this the
best use of your time and effort? If you are inspired, is this the best way
to share what you have found? Does such debate help your practice or deepen
your experience at all?

From your fears regarding bodily discomfort, pain, etc., as
described by you, you can discern the need for actual, deep, thorough
inquiry to liberate yourself from suffering. An intellectual grasp of ideas
thought to correspond to the real essential teaching does not have the
capacity to reveal that freedom, to unveil the innate Bliss, or bestow
lasting peace. Therefore, more profoundly assimilate what has been said and
written, in satsang, correspondence, and in sacred books, by persevering
inquiry that uproots the misidentifications by which you falsely define
yourself. Self-critical examination of your mind (not egotistical
self-judgment that depresses) is helpful, just as the humility that is
natural for anyone who is aware of the scope of That is superior to futile
confidence rooted in the ego's assertion. Therefore, joyfully and ardently
seek to know your Self, which is utterly free of the ego-notion
(individuality) and far, far beyond the tiny concerns of the phantom-like
personality and the illusory moods and modes of an unreal mind.

May you be ever happy at heart, discovering how imagined your
pseudo-bondage is and finding the purpose of life fulfilled within you---
the immortal Bliss of the illimitable Self.

Ever yours in Truth,

Nome

Dear Kassy,

Namaste. Concepts of destiny and individual free will are

entertained only so long as the individual to which either pertain is

assumed to exist. In Self-Knowledge, both ideas are absent, for the ego does

not exist. Self-inquiry reveals this Knowledge. The unreal ego has no part

in it, for the nature of the inquiry is of the Knowledge essence. If one

asks about the "I" that seems as if implicit in the inquiry, the answer is

found in the Maharshi's analogy of the stick used to turn the burning pyre.

Therefore, inquire into the nature of the inquirer.

Ever yours in Truth,

Nome

Mandala One; Being

2009-10-06T14:41:00.000-07:00

mandala one
Being

The Self is just Being
It is not being this or that.
It is just Being.
Self-REalization is just Being.
It is not being this or that.
It is just Being.
Being knows no alternative.
The Self is just Being.

Being never changes its nature.
That which truly is never ceases to be.
That which ceases never actually is.
That which truly exists never changes.
That which changes never truly exists.
That which is changeless is without destruction.
The indestrutable is only
That which is without creation.
The unborn is the undying.
The unchanging is alone being.
Being never changes its nature.

The Self ever is
Just as it is.
There is no time
When Being is altered.
There is no time
When you are not the Self.
Primordial Being eternally is,
Is what you are even now.
Immutable Being is peace iteslef,
For there is no time
When Being is altered.
Just as it is,
The Self ever is.

Being alone knows itself,
The "I"-less "I" realized as "I,"
Forever undefined, the only Existence,
The only Knowledge,
The only Knower.
Thus is Brahman, Absolute Reality,
Always Present, unmarred perfection,
The unformed Void, attributeless Being,
Ever itself just as it is.
The only identity, the only reality,
Being alone knows itself.

Without any other is Absolute Being,
Formless and nondual, the only Existence.
Two that are formless cannot be.
Undivided, homogenous,
Alone is Being,
Nothing outside it and no outside;
Nothing within it;
Alone is Being.
Nothing comes before eternal Being;
Nothing comes after eternal Being.
Without any other is Absolute Being.

October 6, 2009 3:59 AM

Losing M. Mind said...

The Truth of Being
Is solely Reality.
Not from illusory things
Falsely experienced
Does the sense of reality
In every experience derive,
But only from the SElf,
The only source, the Real.
Real Being depends not
On anything else to be.

Uncaused itself, the Absolute Self,
Does not cause anything else.
Infinite, there is
Nothing beyond it produced by it.
Mistake not perception or conception
For Existence itself.
Reality is solely
The Truth of Being.

The Uncreated alone is all.
The all-transcendent
Is the all-pervasive
Neither dualism nor a concept of unity
Is the Nondual Truth.
Nonobjective Being is not a multiplicity;
Nor is it one-in-many;
Nor is it many-in-one.
Attributeless indivisibility it is
The Uncreated alone is all.

Be as you are.
Realization is just Being.
Final meditation upon the Truth
Consists of being it,
For which there is no alternative.
Being is neither a state nor an attainment.
Being is neither a thing nor an activity.
Being is and alone is.
Be as you are.

The Self alone exists eternally.
Solitary and indivisible,
The SElf is Being-Consciousness-Bliss,
Without beginning and without end.
The Self alone exists;
The SElf alone is real.
Nothing exists but the Self.
The Self alone exists, eternally.

One Self is.
Never is there
A multiplicity of selves.
One infinite, indivisible,
Undifferentiated Self forever is.
Like space it is endless, formless;
Like space it is everywhere, pervading all;
Like space it is, colorless, immeasurable.
Ungraspable, having neither within nor without,
One Self is.

Nondual is Realization,
Of the nature of the invariable Self.
The SElf is never impure.
So, Self-Realization is
Not of the nature of purification.
The Self is never born,
So, Self-Realization is
Not of the nature of production
The SElf is never other then its own nature.
So Self-Realization is
Not of the nature of transformation.
The Self is never absent.
So, Self-Realization is
not of the nature of acquisition.
Of the nature of the invariable Self,
Nondual is Realization.

Abide free of imagination.
The Self, your real identity,
Is the Absolute and ever free.
Do not imagine otehrwise.
There is no distance Between you and Brahman,
Between yourself and the Self.
Abide free of imagination.

October 6, 2009 4:06 AM

Losing M. Mind said...

Know the Self as it is.
The SElf is not matter, thought, or entity.
The Self is never modified,
Has no conditions,
Never becomes.
Beyond matter-no birth and no death.
Beyond thought- nonobjective and inconceivable.
Beyond ego-no individuality and no separation.
Never having entered the body.
The Self does not exit it.
The bodiless is birthless, locationless, and deathless.
It does not come, is not conatined, and does not go.
The Self is known by the wise to be bodiless.
Never having entered the mind,
The Self is not bound by it.
The mind-free is unconceived and unperturbed.
It does not think or cease to think.
It knows no state, no mode, and no thought.
The Self is known by the wise to be of no mind.
Never having become individualized,
The Self is innately egoless.
The egoless is boundless, attributeless, illusionless.
It does not become bound and does not become liberated.
The Self is known by the wise to be egoless.
Know the Self as it is.

Only the Self ever is.
Nothing is experienced continuously
Except the Self.
The continuous alone is real;
The discontinuous never really is.
It comes from nowhere,
And it goes nowhere.
It has no birth,
And it has no death.
It shines in its own Light, self-existent.
Only the Self ever is.

How to compare the incomparable?
Vast like space,
Unmoving like the mountain,
Self-luminous like the sun,
With no shape like water,Burning all the straws of ignorance like fire,
Tranquil like the moon's light,
Deep like the ocean.
How to compare the incomparable?

The Self is:
In all beings their very Being
In all selves, the true identity,
In all minds, Consciousness,
IN all things, the unseen Existence,
In all joys, Bliss.
In all places, space.
In all time, endlessness,m
In every heart, The Self is.

Giant Versailles

2009-10-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

What if the Giants had their own Palace of Versailles.

Leaf at 1000X

2009-10-06T09:58:00.001-07:00

A leaf would be about 20 centimeters thick at this scale or about 7.87 inches thick. A bacterium if it was on the leaf would be about a millimeter, or a 25th of an inch. A virus would be about a tenth of a millimeter, such as HIV virus, which is at the very limit of visibility for humans. So a virus would be a tiny dot in comparison to this leaf.

Musical Accompaniement to Blog

2009-10-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFz7T8FLqKs

Ranier and Olympia in Safeway

2009-10-05T17:04:00.000-07:00

Kilo-Giants gotta shop.

Mountains in house

2009-10-05T16:45:00.000-07:00

If Mount St. Helens and Mt. Ranier were shrunk 1000X and a model in your house, this is what i'd look like.

GNANA FIRE! I love this image of Great Sages Lakshmana Swami and Mathru Sri Sarada

2009-10-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

Click on this image if the writing is too small. I love the writing. The GNANA FIRE!

Scanning tunneling microscope images

2009-10-05T14:05:00.001-07:00

Ch.26 Ribhu Gita

2009-10-04T13:56:00.000-07:00

This is maybe the most beautiful spiritual text I know of.

Chapter 26 Tamil version of Ribhu Gita, as translated by Dr. H. Ramamoorthy and Nome.

Nidagha! in this explanation,
I shall tell you about being established in the Undivided,
Which has nothing apart from itself, which is full of itself.
May you be in the Bliss of being That itself, as being proclaimed
to you.
This teaching is highly secret and rare to come by
In the Veda-s and the scriptures.
Moreover, this is rare to come by for even the gods and yogins
And is dear to their hearts.

Son! it has been said by those who know fully
That being at one with the perfectly full nondual Brahman
The mass of Existence-Consciousness-Bliss, the immutable
The Self of all, the serene,
With the vikalpa-s (imaginations, notions) of the fickle
mind ended.
And thought dissolved wholly and indistinguishibly herein,
like a solute such as cumin seed dissolved in water,
Is the abidance in That itself.

When inquired into deeply, all the multitude of differences
Will be seen to be never existent.
All is the undivided Supreme Brahman, which is not different
from the Self,
And That am I.
By always correctly practicing In this exalted certitude
And relinquishing all else,
Be in the Bliss of being ever That itself.

That in which all these apparent differences of duality
Cease to exist when inquired into,
In which all cause and effect--
Even a trace thereof--cease to exist,
And in which not a trace of this fear of duality exists
When the mind is merged therein--
Being that itself,
Ever abide in unwavering Bliss.

That in which there is neither a sankalpa (concept, fixed idea)
nor vikalpa (imagination, doubt, notion),
In which there is neither peace, nor perterbance,
In which there is neither mind nor intellect,
In which there is no confusion or conviction,
In which there is no bhava (conviction, feeling) or absence of bhava
(conviction or feeling),
And in which there is no cognition of duality at all---
Being as That itself, without the least fear of duality,
Ever abide in unwavering Bliss.

6.That in which there is nothing bad or good,In which there is neither sorrow nor pleasure,In which there is neither silence nor speech,In which there are no pairs of opposites,In which there is no distinction of "I" or "body,"(Alternative translation: in which there is no notion "the body is myself,")And in which there is not the least thing to perceive--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

7.That in which there is no activity of body,In which there is no activity of speech,In which there is no activity of the mind,In which there is no activity of any other kind,In which there is nothing sinful or meritorious,And in which there is no trace of desire or its consequences--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

8.That in which there is never any imagination,In which there is no one who imagines,In which the universe has not arisen,In which the universe does not exist,In which the universe does not get dissolved,And in which nothing exists at any time--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

9.That in which there is no appearance of maya (illusion),In which there are no effects of maya (delusion),In which there is neither knowledge nor ignorance,In which there is neither Lord (Isvara) nor individual (jiva),In which thre is neither reality nor unreality,And in which there is not the least appearance of the world--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

10.That in which there are no manifold gods,In which there is no worship of or service to these,In which there is no differentiation as the triad of forms (Brahma, Vishnu, Siva),In which there is no meditation on the triad of forms,In which there is no form of the Supreme Siva,And in which there is no meditation on the Supreme Siva--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

11.That in which there is no action suggesting differentiation,In which there is neither devotion nor knowledge,In which there is no result to be obtained,Bereft of which there is no supreme abode (or supreme state),In which there is nothing of means [for attainment],In which there is nothing to be attained--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

12.That in which there is nothing of body or senses or life,In which there is nothing of mind or intellect or thought,In which there is no experiencer of these,In which there is no macrocosm or microcosm,And in which there is not a trace of samsara (cycle of birth and death)--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

13.That in which there is no desire and no anger,In which there is no covetousness and deluded infatuation,In which there is no arrogance and envious malice,In which there are no other impurities of the mind,And in which there is no delusive notion of bondage,And in which there is no delusive notion of liberation--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

14.That in which there is neither beginning nor end,In which there is no bottom or middle or top,In which there is neither shrine nor deity,In which there is neither charity nor righteous conduct,In which there is neither time nor space,And in which there is no object to be perceived--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

15.That in which the fourfold means for realization of Brahman (sadhana chatushtaya) do not exist,In which there is neither sadguru (true guru) nor diligent disciple,In which there is no immutable knowledge,In which there is no illustrious jnani (knower, sage),In which there is neither of the two kinds of liberation (jivan-mukti, liberation while alive and vedehamukti, disembodied liberation),And in which there is nothing at any time--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

16.That in which there are no scriptures like the Veda-s and such,In which there is no inquiring indivudual,In which there is no confusion and clarification,In which there is no position to be established,In which there is no position to be rejected,In which there is nothing at all except oneself--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

17.That in which there is no disputation,In which there are no victories or defeats,In which there is no text or its meaning,In which there are no words with which to give expression,In which there is no differentiation of individual (jiva) and the Supreme,And in which there are no conditionings--Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),In That itself as That itself.

That in which there is no listening (sravana) or connected practices (reflection and profound contemplation),

In which there is no exalted samadhi (state of absorption),

In which there is no differentiation between objects of the same particular group,

In whic there is no differentiation between objects belonging to different groups,

In which there is no differentiation as affording pleasure of otherwise,

And in which there are no words or their meanings---

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),

In That itself as That itself.

That in which there is no trace of the fear of hell,

In which there is no pleasure of heaven, either,

In which tehre are no worlds of the Creator (Brahma) or others,

In which there are no fruits to be enjoyed there,

In which there are no other worlds,

And in which there exists no universe----

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa)

In That itself as That itself.

That in which there are no elements,

In which there is not even a trace of any derivatives of the elements,

In which there is no egoity or sense of possession,

In which there is no trace of the kingdom of the mind,

In which there is no defect of attachment,

And in which there is not the slightest trace of vikalpa

(difference, imagination, doubt, notion)--

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a conccept (sankalpa)

In That itself as That itself.

That in which there is no triad of bodies (gross, subtle, causal),

In which there is no triad of states of existence (waking, dream,

and deep sleep),

In which there is no triad of souls (ever free, having attained freedom, bound),

In which there is no triad of afflictions (caused by bodily and mental factors,

caused by external factors, caused by supernatural and cosmic factors),

In which there is no pentad of sheaths (physical, vital energy,

mental, intellectual, blissful),

And in which there is no experiencer of any of these---

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),

In That itself as That itself.

That in which there is no sentient being,

In which there is no power of veiling,

In which there is no array of differences,

In which there is no power of false projection,

In which there is no other power of any kind,

And in which there is no delusion of a manifest world---

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),

In That itself as That itself.

That in which there is nothing of action,

In which there is no performer of action,

In which arises unsurpassed Bliss,

Which is, indeed, the changeless state,

Knowing and realizing which none returns [to mortality

or illusion],

And becoming which one is freed from the bondage of worldly

existence---

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),

In That itself as That itself.

That by realizing which and in the Bliss of which

All other joys appear to be the joys of That,

That after realizing which with very firm certitude as oneself

Nothing else will in the least be something apart,

That by realizing which with very firm certitude as oneself

All kinds of Jiva-s (individuals, beings, lives) will attain

Liberation---

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),

In That itself as That itself.

That which by knowing firmly as oneself

One has no need to know anything else in the least,

By knowing which with full conviction as oneself

All is known forever,

And by knowing which as oneself in complete certitude

All actions are completed in their entirety---

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa)

In That itself as That itself.

That which can be easily attained in an unimpeded manner

By the certitude that I am Brahman,

In which, by quiescence after such certitude,

One completely full, ineffable Bliss will reveal itself,

And by merger of the mind in which

One will be joined with unsurpassed, incomparable

contentment---

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa)

In That itself as That itself.

That by merger of the mind in which

All sorrows will cease to exist in the least,

By merger of the mind in which

Neither you nor I nor anything else will exist,

And by merger of the mind in which

All these differences will disappear---

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa),

In That itself as That itself.

That by merger of the mind in which

One abides as oneself with no sense of duality,

By merger of the mind in which

Not a trace of anything seperate will remain,

And by merger of the mind in which

Incomparable Bliss alone will reveal itself--

Ever abide in Bliss, without a trace of a concept (sankalpa_

In That itself as That itself.

That which is, indeed, of the nature of undifferentiated Existence,

Which is, indeed, of the nature of undifferentiated Consciousness,

Which is, indeed, of the nature of undifferentiated Bliss,

Which is, indeed, of the nature of nonduality,

Which is, indeed, not different from the Self,

And which, indeed, is the undivided Supreme Brahman---

In the firm certitude that "I am That,"

Abide in the Bliss of ever being That itself.

That which, indeed, is "I" and "you",

Which, indeed, is everyone else,

Which, indeed, is the substratum of all,

Which, indeed, is One without a trace of anything else,

Which, indeed, is utmost purity,

And which, indeed, is the undivided, complete, perfect fullness---

By the conviction that "I am That,"

Be in the Bliss of ever being that itself.

That in which there are no varying modes,

In which there is not the least thing different,

In which all egoity is extinguished,

In which all desires (or imaginings) get destroyed,

In which mind and such perish,

And in which all delusion is destroyed---

By the firm conviction that "I am That",

Be in the Bliss of ever being That itself.

That in which the body and others can not be discerned,

In which there is no perception of manifestation whatsoever,

In which thought itself is destroyed,

In which merges the individuality (jiva),

In which all imaginings get dissolved,

And in which even certitude disappears---

By the deep conviction that "I am That,"

Be in the Bliss of ever being That itself.

That in which all meditation is merged,

In which all yoga is obliterated,

In which all ignorance is dead,

In which all knowledge is nullified,

In which there are no interactions involved,

And which is the state of Absolute Truth---

By the very firm conviction of "I am That,"

Be in the Bliss of ever being That itself.

Merging in which one attains happiness always,

Merging in which one never experiences sorrow,

Merging in which one perceives nothing,

Merging in which one never takes birth at all,

Merging in which one never experiences a sense of being seperate,

Merging in which one abides as the Supreme (Para) itself---

By the deep conviction of "I am That,"

Be in the Bliss of ever being That itself.

That which is verily of the nature of the Supreme Brahman,

Which verily is of the nature of the Supreme Siva,

Which verily is of the nature of the immaculate,

Which verily is of the nature of the Supreme State,

Which verily is of the nature of the Knowledge of Reailty,

And which verily is of the nature of the Supreme Truth---

That, indeed, am I.

By such conviction, be in the Bliss of ever being that itself.

That which is of the nature of the pure Absolute,

Which verily is of the nature of a mass of Bliss,

Which verily is of the nature of the subtle Supreme,

Which verily is of the nature of the self-luminous,

Which verily is of the nature of the nondual,

And which verily is of the nature of the meanings of

the undifferentiated.---

That, indeed, am I.

By such conviction, be in the Bliss of ever being That itself.

That which verily is of the nature of Truth,

Which is verily of the nature of the peaceful Absolute,

Which verily is of the nature of the eternal,

Which verily is of the nature of the attributeless,

Which verily is of the nature of the Self,

Which verily is of the nature of the undivided Absolute---

That, indeed, am I.

By such conviction, be in the Bliss of ever being That itself.

That, indeed, which constitutes the entirety of interactions,

That even the least of which cannot, indeed, be conveyed by

"the highest truth,"

Which, indeed, is the Existence-Consciousness-Bliss,

Which, indeed, is ever peaceful,

From which, indeed, there is nothing apart,

And which, indeed, abides self-existent, all by itself,

That, indeed, am I.

By such conviction, be in the Bliss of ever being That itself.

Thus, have I explained to you, Nidagha!

The state of being established as That itself without any duality.

You shall enjoy perpetual Bliss

By attaining this state by constant,

Continuous, changeless certitude

Of the undifferentiated Absolute.

There are no more miseries of mundane existence at

all at any time in the future

For you who are Brahman alone.

Casting aside all impure tendencies (vasana-s)

By the pristine tendency (vasana) left by the practice of

"The Absolute, Existence-Consciousness-Bliss, is all,

And That I ever am,"

And subsequently effacing even that tendency (vasana)

Son! you will be established in the perfect, full absorption

In and as the nondual Supreme Brahman itself

And attain the Liberation of being the undifferentiated,

undivided One.

All impure tendencies (vasana-s) are of a state of the mind

The tendencies (vasana-s) about the pure Absolute are also

of a state of the mind.

The Supreme has no such changing tendencies (vasana-s).

Hence, be established in this state,

Without any tendencies (vasana-s) of the mind,

Whether considered pure or considered impure,

Like a motionless piece of stone or wood

And, without any strain, be in Bliss.

Having disassociated from the imaginings of all other thoughts,

By the conviction (bhava) of being the undivided Absolute,

And forgetting even the said conviction (bhava) of being the

Absolute,

Your yourself abide as the perfectly full Supreme Brahman.

Even if a great sinner in this world

Hears this explanation now proclaimed

And understands it, he shall, rid of all the great sins of his ego,

Abide as the nature of the undivided, undifferentiated Absolute.

The endless Veda-s,

In revealing here and there

The means of meditation for mental purification,

Have indicated only rock-like, motionless mergere with and

absorption in

The unaffected mass of Bliss,

The undivided, complete, perfectly full Siva,

As the means for the happy Liberation

Of those who are mentally purified.

Therefore, one can here attain

The undifferentiated Liberation by abiding as just That itself

And with a purified mind arising out of the practice of

the meditation

That whatever is known is Siva

And that Siva am I.

Whatever is stated here is the Truth.

Thus, the sage Ribhu explained in full to Nidagha

The abidance in the True State.

It is the undivided form of our Supreme Lord in a state

of sublime, joyous dance that says:

By the conviction that I am ever the Reality, which is

Existence-Consciousness-Bliss,

And by the state of abiding at one with That, being That itself,

The empty bondage of the world can be cut asunder and pure

Liberation attained.

San Fransisco is in a 1000X magnified Comic book store

2009-10-04T13:39:00.000-07:00

At this scale, the International Space station would be between 353 and 341 meters up. Traveling at 7 meters/second. or 17.239 miles per hour, speed of a bicyclist. It would be 7.3* 10.8 centimeters. The earth is 24 miles in circumference to the giants. Portland Oregon where I live would be 866 meters to the North of SF from the giants perspective. 947 yards, or 7.89 football fields with endzones back to back. Between Portland and SF. The Mariana Trench would be 11 meters deep to the giants.
The distance accross the Pacific to Japan would be 5.144 miles accross.

my guru's mandala on God, Guru and Grace

2009-10-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

These again are mandalas my teacher wrote. I'm not trying to hog the message board, others are free to write. But I have found these incredibly helpful in the practice, so I'm sharing them.

Mandala Ten
God, Guru, Grace

God, Guru, and the Self
Are one and the same.
There is no God
Other than the Self,
And there is no self
Other than God.
As there is no distance
Between Brahman and oneself,
Between the Self and oneself,
there is no distance
Between the Guru and the disciple
Brahman transceneds all,
The Self transcends all,
The Guru transcends all,
For Brahman alone is,
The Self alone is,
The Guru alone is,
A second exists not in Brahman,
An ego exists not in the Self,
For the Guru, no disciple exists.
Duality dissolves in Brahman
The ego vanishes in the Self,
The disciple ceases in the Guru.
Brahman formless is,
The Self formless is,
The Guru formless is.
Brahman-Being-Consciousness-Bliss.
The Self-Being-Consciousness-Bliss.
The Guru-Being-Consciousness-Bliss.
Brahman is itself alone.
The Self knows itself alone.
The Guru reveals his own existence
alone.
One alone is
God, Guru, and the Self.

The Truth reveals the Truth
To the Truth.
The Self reveals its own existence
As the one Self.
This is the truth of meditation,
The Truth of the Guru-and-disciple relationship.
Only a Self-Realized sage
Reveals Self-Knowledge,
Clearly, "like a fruit in the hand,"
Naturally, with no duality.
The unenlightened
Are unable to do so,
The Realized reveal it
With even the most awkward of words,
The unenlightened cannot do so
With even the eloquence of the most elegant of words.
The Realized reveal it
Even with silence.
In this silence,
There are no unenlightened ones.

October 4, 2009 7:08 PM

Losing M. Mind said...

Speaking, he is yet silent.
Speaking, the sage
Speaks only to God-
The real Self-
Whenever addressing
The disciple or aspirant.
Not to follow the Truth
Revealed by one's Guru
Is to cling to the illusions
of the world,
Walk eyes open into a raging fire,
Blind one's own eyes,
Injure oneself,
Drown oneself,
To fall again into nightmares
After being kindly awakened.
The wise yogi does not
Make himself thus
As one deserving of compassion,
But adheres to the Truth,
Dissolves himself into it,
Rests himself upon it,
Remains absorbed in it,
And is content
Truth is like water:
Strong enough
To dissolve solid rock,
Yet so gentle
It can touch your eyes.
Be devoted to your Guru,
For he will generously show you
That which might otherwise
Require eons fo striving,
Who shows what to whom?
To the Truth,
The Truth reveals the Truth.

For the sake of the Self
All are loved.
Love-the unitary feeling of Being-
Inseparable from divine Knowledge,
In the Realization of the formless
Self,
The Self that dwells
In the hearts of all,
In devotion deep,
All love's expressions
Are acceptable,
Regardless of apparent duality,
Provided the devotee
Harbors no egoism.
Cessation of frantic contention
By the false ego,
With its attendant dualism,
As if a second power,
Is sweet surrender.
All the teachings are taught,
All blessings bestowed,
All instruction followed,
All devotion surges upm
All love pours forth,
For the sake of the Self.

Aborbed in That, by That,
In which faith is placed,
Is one with faith,
The strength of the holy,
The pure in heart.
What is to be experienced tomorrow
Is believed in today.
When the residuum
Of contrary doubt dissolves,
Faith's essence remains
As the deepest conviction
The certitude of Knowledge,
Shining as direct experience
Without the notion of time,
With no seperation.
With that, one is
Absorbed in That by That.

October 4, 2009 7:14 PM

Losing M. Mind said...

Grace is of the Self.
It sheds itself upon itself.
Whenever the ego dissolves,
One abides in a state of Grace.
Guru's Grace,
Oneness of Knowledge and Being,
Is felt as the fusion
Of wisdom and love,
Knowledge of the Self
Is truly holy.
Love of the Truth
Is truly holy.
Love of those who abide identified with the Truth
is truly holy.
What is holy is immortal.
Revealing itself,
The Self is called Grace.
Grace is the call, grace prompts the response.
If sincere self-effort is total,
Grace is present in abundance.
Having come into the Grace of the Guru,
If the disciple ardently follows
The path shown by the Guru,
He will undoubtedly be Liberated
And will never be forsaken,
for Grace is the Self.

All is Grace:
The hope, the search,
The effort, the attainment,
The instruction, the application,
The revelation,
The world-transcendence,
The immense peace,
All is Grace:

The lessons, the learning,
The dissolution of the fetters,
The saving from distress,
The display of Truth's power,
The transcendent freedom,
All is Grace:

The support, the guidance,
The help, the illumination,
The unfailing wisdom,
The perfection of bliss.
All is Grace:

The smallest, the vastest,
Inner mind, entire universe.
The eternal state.
All is Grace:
The Self's own Knowledge,
Self-evident, of its own Self.
All is Grace:
The one silent Truth.
All is Grace.

All right
Is everything,
No matter what,
When, or where.
The perfect Absolute
Brings forth none other.
Contrary ideas
Change not the fact.
Creating, destroying,
The pleasurable, the painful.
Living and dying,
All is ever
All right.
Detached and free,
Identified with That,
The indestructable Bliss,
Transcendent of all,
Himself being all,
Eternal perfection
All is ever
All right.

Supremely simple,
Innate, is the Truth.
So many words,
For something ineffable,
So many explanations
For the inexplicable
So many descriptions
For the indescribable,
So many reasons
For the unthinkable,
So many parables
For the incomparable,
The Self alone is
Supremely simple.

My spiritual teacher (sat-guru's) poetry.

2009-10-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Mandala Three Bliss

To abide as the Self
Is Bliss uncaused and unrboken.
The Bliss inherent in this
Nondual Being-Consciousness
Is as expansive as the sky,
Yet so close within you.
Happiness is within.
Within is the SElf.
The search for happiness
is the search for oneself
The finding of oneself
Is the happiness perfect.
Freedom, peace, and happiness fused
Are the singular experience
Of the true Self
No fulfillment in illusion
No deficiency in the Self;
No happiness in dualism,
No suffering in nonduality;
One is truly happy Only by
abiding At the very Source
of all happiness,
As the Bliss of the Self.
Bliss uncaused and unbroken
is To abide as the Self.

The Bliss of the Self,
Joy of the Absolute,
Is the state of Being,
Unveiled, SElf-revealed, as it is.
Suffering is needless,
and grief unrelated,
To immortal Reality.
Misidentification, ignorance,
Alone causes suffering.
Self-Knowldge is Bliss,
Reality SElf-revealed
You are never required To be bound
or to suffer.
You are always required To be
free, at peace,
And happy within.
Suffering has no basis,
No real, valid cause;
All so-called causes mere excuses,
Illusion's experience of itself.
Suffering is not
Inherent in life;
The Bliss of the Absolute
is what is innate.
This is the Bliss,
Real and Eternal,
The Bliss of the Truth,
The Bliss of the SElf.
To know the SElf,
One always is,
Is the way to recover,
The Bliss never lost.
The happiness experienced
Anywhere anytime
Derives not from the experienced,
But from the SElf,
The sole source,
The same is true of love, peace,
Dearness and harmony,
The true, good, and beautiful
All this is the Bliss of the Self.
Desire is simply
The urge to be happy.
Turned outward, it is foolish;
Turned inward, it yields wisdom.
Turn inward to recover
The Bliss never lost.
Immutable Being is the root
Of peace everlasting.
Space-like Consciousness is the root
Of freedom from bondage.

October 3, 2009 11:09 PM

Losing M. Mind said...

The Bliss of the Self is the root
Of joyful love, devotion, and Oneness.
The way to recover the Bliss ever yours
Is to know the SElf that always you are.
One thing is needed for Bliss everlasting;
Dive within, to the source,
Detaching and inquiring
to know the Self.

I'll share the one on practice also.
Mandala five
Advice for Aspiration

Practice, practice, practice intensely
Like a man drowning Reaching for air;
Drowning in samsara
Reaching for blissful immortality,
Practice, practice, practice intensely.
Effortless certainly is Self-Realization,
Yet if it's not certain,
practice, practice, pracgtice intensely.
The intensity of Truth shines
As intensity of the practice
To know oneself truly
And to renounce all the unreal.
Practice of KNowledge
Destroys the shadows of ignorance,
Burning brightly and absorbing itself
In the Truth ever present.
Never is there a need
TO abandon the practice,
For what seems the means
Is really the End;
The End itself;
Manifests as means,
Jnana and jnana,
Knowledge-yielding KNkowledge.
Knowledge without practice
Is only momentary insight;
Practice iwthout knowledge
Is repetitive and unclear.
Neither practice nor KNowledge
Is worldly wandering in delusive maya,
Filled with suffering,
Bound in bitter fetters,
LIfe spent in a dream.
Knowledge practiced
Stands irrefutable,
Shines as direct expereince,
And abides as Being,
For the sake of Bliss,
For the sake of peace,
for the sake of freedom,
For the sake of Truth,
For the sake of the SElf,
Practice, practice, practice intensely.

October 3, 2009 11:15 PM

Losing M. Mind said...

The spirit of Truth
Is the spirit of practice,
You are always free,
And always free to be free,
Do not doubt the ability
To abide as the Self;
Do not let this ability go unused.
Nothing obstructs,
But one's imagination.
Persevere and inquiry,
Listen, reflect, meditate.
So that practice is filled with
The spirit of Truth.

Nonduality in practice,
Nonduality in Realization.
To search for Truth
While ignoring one's own Self
Is like confounding the original face
And the image in the mirror
KNowledge of the SElf
Trancends all duality
Self-inquiry includes not
The dualism one desires to transcend.
Inquiry reveals and does not create.
What is anew will be lost
And cannot be real.
What is ever revealed
And is not destroyed,
Oneself revealing
ONe SElf to oneself.
For Nonduality in REalization,
nonduality in practice.

And no darkness remains in LIght,
There remains no ignorance,
Bondage, or suffering
For those who are wise,
Sincere, honest, introspective,
Persevering, faithful,
And who carry the love
Of the Supreme
In their hearts.
Manifesting the true,
The good, and the beautiful.
Inspired by the sages,
The holy and gracious,
He who, with inward mind,
Seeks the light of Truth,
Finds himself absorbed
In the light timeless
That knows no darkness
Of delusion, illusion unreal.
He who, renouncing attachment
And aflame with the desire for Liberation,
INquires to know
The Truth of the SElf
Treads the supreme way
And is the crest jewel of living beings.
He is a light
Guided by light,
Effulgent in Bliss-KNowledge,
Is absorbed in LIght,
Light of pure Consciousness,
LIght that is infinite
Eternal Light of all,
Absolute Light,
Illusionless Self,
And no darkness remains in light.

That which you desire to find
Is found by destroying the vile
That seems to hide it,
The forgetfulness
That overlooks it,
The inadvertent mode
That slips by it.
The tendencies that you examine
In the light of true KNowledge,
Are those from which
You set yourself free.
The illusion dissolves
Into nothingness that it is,
Its only substance,
For when you hutn for the gloom,
With the light within,
You find only light,
And the gloom remains not,
Examining the bondage,
you find no fetters,
Examining the sorrow,
You find no valid cause,
Examining delusion's dream,
You find no substance, no dreamer.
To control thought or the mind,
Completely and finally,
Relizae that such
Has never actually come to be.
Confining concepts are
Like echoes in an empty canyon.
If you do not shout
How will there be any noise?
So does bondage and its erasure
Pivot on you.

Inquiring to know
What yourself is,
Trace the outer to the inner,
The branch to the trunk and the root,
The objective to the subjective,
And inquire, "Who am I?"
Ignorance will cease,
And you will thus realize
That which you desire to find.

The desire for LIberation
And earnest self-effort
Are the key ingredients
For SElf-Realization.
Sincerity of purpose,
Renunciation of attachment,
And introspection in the form of
Self-inquiry
Are what are needed
For SElf-Realization.
Meditation to know the SElf,
Dissolving the mind in its source,
Is the helpful means
For SElf-Realization,
If only one desires
Liberation strongly enough,
The necessary practice will manifest.
Bondage will vanish,
And the Truth will be Realized.

October 3, 2009 11:24 PM

Losing M. Mind said...

Desire for LIberation means
That one knows that
Self-Realization alone is necessary,
And nothing else is necessary.
Earnesness manifests as dilligence
and perseverence.
Dilligence is adherence to the teachings
of Truth.
Perseverence is the adament refusal
To stagnate in delusion.
REnunciation of attachment
Is clarity regarding happiness
And no longer fooling oneself
About what can never give
What is truly one's own.
Inquiry is discerning
Who you are,
Negating what you are not.
So that the SElf is SElf-revealed.
Treasure the Nondual Truth
As you would protect your own eyes,
And it, itself, will protect you
From blind pursuit of the unreal.
As you see yourself
So you see others
Though one who sees the Self
KNows the Self of all,
And identified as That,
Sees no others at all.
So treat others as you would yourself,
And love them as the Self
Beyond body and mind.
Humility is the vessel
Of Truth and Grace,
The ability to imbibe
The resevoir for wisdom,
And the vehicle of love,
Compassion is the understanding
That suffering is needless,
The eye of KNowledge
Sees the sufferer is not,
And silent Being ever prevails,
Countless divine attributes
Have one source within,.
Abide in the source,
The divine Absolute,
By diving within, urged by
The desire for Liberation.
The wise have shown the way.
look not without,
But look within.
Do not formulate opinions.
But know the Truth within.
Do not attempt to control others,
But learn to wisely govern yourself.
Do not seek to tell others,
But correct yourself.
Do not opine regarding others,
But seek the state of no defining idea regarding yourself.
Do not seek out the faults of others,
But critically examine yourself.
Do not learn jargon,
But learn the meaning in KNowledge.
Do not imitate or create anew,
But practice sincerely,
Realizing by direct experience,
What the holy sages have before you,
The wise have shown the way.

If you adhere to hte Truth,
The Truth adheres to you,
Illumines and supports you,
The Truth is realized by those
Who are consecrated to it.
One should spiritually practice
With as much intensity
As if life depended on it,
For, indeed, it does.
Do not delay to practice;
Do not wait to know yourself.
Patience is wiating
For osmething objective to occur.
Impatience is waiting
For something objective to occur.
Do not wait; know yourself.
Care for the root,
And the branches and leaves
Care for themselves.
What appears as intensity in practice.
Is, in RElaization, found to be
The solidity, vividness, And reality
of hte SElf.
Intensity in practice becomes
Immovability and imperturbability
In the KNowledge of the Absolute
INtensely inquire,
Knowing that no ignorant notion
Is too large to conqurer.
Intensely inquire,
KNowing that no ignorant notion
Is too small to relinquish.
Nothing will delude you
If you adhere to the Truth.

Sow and reap.
Meditation yields wisdom and inner experience.
Detachment yields freedom and peace.
Perseverence yields steadiness and strength.
Self-inquiry yields the Realization of the Absoute
And nothing less.
Sow and reap."

This is enough for now. This mandala actually goes on for a long while. But maybe I'll share more later. My teacher said it was meant as a meditation to engender being absorbed in the state of the Self, or pure COnsciousness.

Purpose of blog...

2009-10-03T18:29:00.000-07:00

For people who come to this blog. I've led a weird life, partly because of Asperger's syndrome, a very mild

case of autism. And being in counter-cultures, learning a martial art. Rebelling against all concepts. (including pretty dramatically gender roles) And then finally, it coming full circle, and starting to actually have things come together. And so... For those folks who are more conventional it may be shocking. But yeah, in this, there is no holds barred with sharing the imaginitiveness that crosses my mind. You will see science, you will see spirituality, you will see everything that has helped me, and perhaps aided me at making sense of a world that made little sense to me. So the solutions I came up with, the ideas I took on and were exposed to were not 'conventional', but were what ultimately worked. To those who are on the counter-culture end of the spectrum, there is the deep religious themes that come through, even Christian. So my life, the things that have happened, the things I have took on, I have found myself outside of any dichotomies. Whether conservative or liberal, anarchist, or governmental, counter-culture or mainstream, western or eastern. I forget the world of people thinking that their assumptions hold true, that they don't have to ask, to understand. I go where fate takes me, and use what works. And then forget how outside of the 'norm' I am, or what people might try to make of it. but that strategy, is ultimately what makes for an interesting life. So what are my opinions? I don't have any, is probably is a good way to put it. There is no platform here. The ground is not solid, you are walking on quicksand.

fighter jet 1000x

2009-10-03T17:54:00.001-07:00

A $2 bill fell out of the carriage.

2009-10-03T17:34:00.001-07:00

This is a $2 bill 1000X by length, a bacterium for the giants would be obviously not visible to the giants, but would be a visible 1 mm or salt grain size to the Portland inhabitants who are the size of ants to the giants. Even this dollar bill enlarged 1000x, and weighing the weight of a billion $2 bills would be only about a foot thick. I'm guessing, because it seems money is thicker then most paper. It would weigh 1,102 tons or 2,205,000 pounds or 1 million kilograms, about as much as the Giant Sequoia General Sherman

More of size scale

2009-10-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

Joe Montana

2009-10-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

In high school I was a real big fan of Joe montana, there was something so earnest and un-cynical, and un-egotistical about him. And there was something about his graceful ability to make passes even when he couldn't see the receiver. I like the idea of someone this graceful, and sagely being the most famous American Football player of all time.

Size Scale Revisited

2009-10-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

I am really fascinated with size scale, and earlier on this blog really delved into the topic, with tons of pictures made in Google Earth if things were 1000X bigger, or 1 million X bigger. In this case, 1000X bigger, a stadium, a horse carriage, and a coke can all on Portland Oregon. The coke can would contain 1 billion coke cans worth, because even though length is 1000X bigger, volume would be 1000X cubed or 1000*1000*1000 bigger. Because it is enlarged in each of the 3 dimensions. Since these objects are 1000X, this is also the conversion between such units as a micron and a millimeter. Meaning that what would be a micron to the giant objects, is a visible millimeter to the Portland inhabitants. Which means if the people of Portland were to explore the anatomy of the horses, perhaps the horses are parked and they explore, the average animal cell in the horses would be roughly 1 centimeter, or roughly half an inch in diameter. So the Portland inhabitants could see every cell as they walked along. They could perhaps walk through arteries for instance which would be about 30 feet in diameter I believe. Each red cell would be about 7 millimeters (easily visible), and white blood cells (1 centimeter) the cells on the wall of the artery would also be 1 centimeter. If I tried to drink the can of soda, and drank my usual 5 cans a day when I drink soda, it would still take me 547 thousand years to drink it. It would weight 44,100 tons when empty, or 40 million kilograms. And 360 million kilograms when full which is 396,900 tons when full. About twice the weight of the Titanic when empty, and half the heaviest ship ever when full of soda.
Here are pictures without further ado.

New pictures of me.

2009-09-27T15:50:00.001-07:00

I went to a football game with my brother in law and my dad. and I went to Elephant Rock, natural granite rocks in Missouri created by Ice Age glaciers. These are photos. The football game was between the St. Louis Rams and the Greenbay Packers. And I was struck by how it was no bigger then a high school football field. We were 2 rows from the field. At elephant rock I'm with my sister.

throughout my twenties

2009-09-27T04:51:00.001-07:00

I was trying to figure out how to be a 'normal' human. How to have friendships,
and even romantic relationships with people? How to relate with others.
I was also trying to deal with intense and temporary egoloss experiences
that were frightening to me, because everything would seem to cease to
having the same reality to it, and instead become super-dreamlike
and trippy. But I couldn't just enjoy it, and so I was getting acuptuncture.
I got kicked out of the house I lived with in my mid-twenties because
I didn't do enough chores. Not because of laziness. But because,
so much was going on mentally, in the way of fearful hallucenatory
experiences, as in things becoming trippy and me being resistant to it,
(the world seemed unreal to the point that it was a relief that the house
I lived in was still there to me)
I also felt like i wasn't having relationships with others and so depressed
that it was hard to do chores. I just had alot of social difficulties.
At parties I would get so super nervous that I would sit in a corner by
myself. The acupuncture turned into yoga weekly, then bi-weekly,
then daily. then tai chi instead, sometimes chi gong. And then I learned
vipassana from the school counseling center. I also got counseling,
and then went to an autism specialized psychologist who concurred
that I had alot of the patterns associated with Asperger's Syndrome.
And was trying to help me develope my social skills, for instance suggesting
I dress the part of the social crowds I liked to hang around in. so I started
trying to be fashionable. I always got the feeling women that I liked were
perhaps showing interest in me more then friendship. Numerous examples
of this, but I couldn't figure out what to do about it, or what not to do about it.
In my early twenties,
I tried telling people that I had a crush on them, but that seldom worked.
Though there were a few examples where I was told they felt the same way,
and for several reasons it still didn't turn into anything. I should mention
that on top of the hallucenatory experiences, where the reality of the world
frighteningly ceased to seem so real, or it seemed like the world was in
my imagination, I was terribly phobic and sensations in my body felt like
something was giong wrong, that I was going to have a heart attack, or something
else wasn't working, which also caused terrible panic. This was sort of the background
for being exposed to ramana Maharshi and Self-inquiry. Everything he said made
sense. In the enlightened state, there is no world because there is no one to
experience the world with no ego, there is only Bliss, and the actions go
on harmoniously. I also had a supernatural experience around the teacher
that I currently correspond with, where I could directly experience this fully
in his presence and so a flame-like blur that was very distinct around him.
It reminded me of the flames in ancient Buddha representations. There were
no flames it was a blur like above a fire that was shaped similarly to those
representations. And I could just tell this person was in an permanent
egoless state. So the world is a place that only seems to function smoothly,
and I function smoothly in the absence of egoity. I should also mention, i was
as atheist as everyone around me, but when I read Mere Christianity at the
house I lived at (which was extremely counter-culture), alot of it made sound
sense based on my experiences. Because I felt no way out i surrendered to Christ.
(which is extremely controversial in those scenes I associated with, and not
something I talk about freely). And I don't believe in the stupid stuff, proselytization,
homophobia, nationalism, fascism, etc. those aren't things that are even there. But
I felt like this gesture which is really the same as surrendering to the universe, but
giving it a form. A way of saying, do what you will with me? I decided if I was going
to be Christian I was going to be a smart Christian like a Tolstoy or Dostoevsky,
and even the taboo-quality of this actually seemed a little exciting. But I think it
was this attitude of surrender that brought me in contact with a Realized guru/sage,
and the Self-inquiry teachings of Ramana Maharshi.

Nome's realized disciple Cee is fascinating to me.

2009-09-26T14:50:00.000-07:00

This is not written by me. I found this on some website.

Ceehttp://www.presentnonexistence.com/location.htm
I recently visited Cee at her home in Berkeley, California, which also serves as an ashram and retreat center. It is an immaculate, well-appointed, peaceful space. The backyard is spacious and offers privacy, a garden, and a feeling of connection with nature. I've visited Cee before, and I never want to leave! The following are selections from a new book she is writing.~ ~

Cee says:~"Spiritual EntertainmentPeople get tired of seeking in the world and turn to spiritual seeking, often continuing in their same old mode of looking to be entertained. There are plenty of quick fixes and show-time gurus to feed this new search. Shaktipat, glorious kundalini rushes, miracles, lights and colors; yet at some point even spiritual entertainment ceases to fascinate you. As good as it gets - it is still fleeting and unfulfilling. The only lasting entertainment is your own Being. It is nothing like watching a movie or even witnessing a life. You yourself are the movie. You yourself are Life Itself. Without the appearance of anything and without witnessing anything, there is just this one perfect Existence. You are That. ~ ~ ~You don't even need a teacherThe surest way to figuring out what the world is about; your life is about; and who you are, all boils down to one thing. You. Then you don't need to look outward for the answer any more. If you intuit how to delve into the core of your own existence, you are on your way. You don't even need a teacher.If you are on your way.....where are you on your way too?How far a journey is it to get to yourself? If it seems like a journey, take it. You can never do anything more sacred or more important. When you arrive back to what you never left, you understand how no journey has ever been really taken.When you get on the right track of inward-turned attention you understand that every teacher you have ever had (in fact everything that has ever occurred) has always been your own consciousness. So you throw away your outward teachers and let Consciousness be it's own teacher. Can consciousness see itself?Can your consciousness find itself? Stop reading words and start meditating.~ ~ ~Fantastic stories, mystical experiences, amazing worlds. Everything happening from breakfast to the Big Bang is just more stuff. One piece of stuff is not better or worse than the next piece of stuff. When you get tired of all the stuff, look for what is beyond all the stuff. What is all the stuff resting on? Experience that state in which all the stuff is gone.~ ~ ~Waiting until death for freedom:It must be now. Make the dream over now.It is never over as long as you participate in it. It is unwise to think that the end of births and deaths will happen after your human death. You can’t wait for it to be over. Of course your current identity will perish, yet another will take it’s place, as long as someone is there. It is never over as long as you participate in it. -----------------Being fully in the present means not (taking a position and) looking at the present objectively. Don’t be in the present. Be the present.~ ~ ~No matter where you go, how many times you change your circumstances, there is still this gnawing need. This wanting to be fulfilled. This yearning for an answer. Looking in the world of form produces no satisfactory results. Only momentary relief, which is only a brief respite from the search itself. Some spiritual teachings proclaim the search itself to be the culprit. They suggest you to stop searching because the assumption of a problem initiates the search, and in truth there is no problem. Yes it is true that in full Self Realization there is no problem. Yet to think about that, is not to realize it. To try to stop searching is not really stopping. Such efforts are the same search in a different disguise. The more fruitful way to approach is to search in the right place. ~ ~ ~I once got an e-mail in response to the Present Nonexistence website that read, “oh Mighty cee, why not get a lobotomy?” I laughed out loud. Well, because it wouldn’t work. To make changes on the physical level does not result in understanding. Do you think the ego would cease to exist because there was little or no brain functioning? Is physical death the end of the ego’s adventure? As long as there is an identity, there will be an adventure. ~ ~ ~Stick with one teachingAll wise teachings are beautiful and valid. When someone wants to find the truth he will find his or her own truth in the most appropriate way. Some of us have had many spiritual mentors. We have studied and been touched by many spiritual teachers and teachings. If you pray to the divine, begging to know the truth of existence; some kind of a way will occur to you. Take up a teaching and follow it Study and practice a teaching long enough to know it for yourself. In the end you have to make the teaching yours. Words and practices ultimately fall away with understanding. Until then, follow one teaching explicitly until you make it your own. You can make an ancient scripture come alive if you find it's deep inner meaning and know it for yourself. Scripture comes alive in the most wonderful way. When you study and ponder ancient or modern wisdom teachings from any tradition, you will find the pure esoteric thread that binds them all together. They are all from the one perfect existence, the one perfect Being. There is just one existence. That one perfect Being is the one who wants spiritual knowledge revealed. It's (his/her) own existence is what is revealed. All teachers appear at the right time for the right person, if they appear at all. With intense study and practice one may find that the teacher and the teaching and who is being taught are all one and the same. In ultimate truth there is just the one Self always perfect and changeless and blissful. In ultimate truth you find that you always had what you are looking for. No teaching has actually occurred. ~ ~ ~Sometimes there appears to be a world and a body in that world. That body (what everyone calls "me") can take any form at all. The Upanishads say: "Whatever the infinite Consciousness considers itself to be, that it appears to be". You can find the truth of this statement by looking at your own dreams. In bed at night you take on many different bodies. While you are that dream character you really FEEL like yourself. As far as you know you are yourself and everything in your dream seems real and ordinary. That (you) is the Infinite Consciousness considering itself to be something. By deep considering of your own Awareness understand that the bodies you assume are temporary and superfluous. One comes to know that all the states of mind -- waking, dreaming and deep dreamless sleep -- are arising in the same consciousness. Your consciousness. The Consciousness.Many sages have proclaimed: I am not in the world; the world is in me. Finding out how this pertains to yourself effectively eliminates the fear of death."

A dream

2009-09-26T04:57:00.000-07:00

I had written Nome about how suffering seems to be at the depth of dreams and inquiry needs to deal with that subconscious level. One of Nome's devotees who I think is also fully Realized in the Self said that inquiry should go on at the level of dreams. Frustrated with my failure at inquiry I wrote Nome and said this to him. This is about last night's dream the night after. I should add, the part about Nome's actions being driven by some intense spiritual power, and seemingly without personal volition was my experience when I encountered him outside of satsang. I should also add, in the dream Nome was an innocent person, and had a southern drawl. The innocense, and kindness were my experience also when I encountered him outside satsang. though in satsang he radiated a divine certainty.

I had a dream with you in it. After I had told you I've never had a happy dream,and that inquiry needs to be on that level of dreams. My dream was at a dream-versionof Society of Abidance in Truth that was also kind of a farm. And I was in a barnand my mom was picking me up from this camp which I think was seperate.Anyway I kept pestering you for replies in the dream, and found that your replyin the barn was a ripped off piece of paper from Maharshi dialogues that you hadleft there for me. Actually you came into the barn to see me and my mom off,and it seemed like it wasn't of your own volition. I could see that you sat near mefor no reason, but it was darshan. But there wasn't a motive like darshan on your part.And I got on a bus, and suddenly in the draem had a waking dreamin which everyone else on the bus was attacking me with dirty heroin needles,I realized in the dream that this was because of what I had told you, and it was kind of like drawing out the bad. Afterwards I found myself in the deepeststate of peace possible. And I though, still in the dream, about how that is whysatsang only needs to be once a week. Infact it seemed like this was so deep,I could only handle this is in doses. afterwards I was in a grocery store,and you happen to pass someone, and I overheard someone say, "only Nome is real.No one else is." And I said what? And then I said, I agree, only Nome is real.No one else is. And around the grocery store, I saw people agree with me.

The true definition of one's own Self.

2009-09-21T15:19:00.000-07:00

My moms cat is bothering me wanting attention. I thought these Shankara verses, a translation by Dr. H. Ramamoorthy and my teacher were worth sharing. The book is Svatmanirupanam: The True definition of one's own self.
1 I bow to the revered guru's pair of feet, Which destroy the unbearable pair of opposites, The dust of which is the ash allaying The (malefic) planet of erroneous perception.
2 To the excellent guru, the compassionate (one), I bow, Who destroys all doubts, Whose feet instruct one in the nondual experience, The meaning of the word "That".
3. Scorched by the forest fire of samsara, Possessed of all practices, The disiple is enlightened by the Guru In perfect, accurate words, as to the definition of one's own (the true) Self.
4. "Oneself exists"---in this fact For whom does the doubt exist? Even in this, if there be doubt, He who has the doubt, indeed you are.
5. When one knows that "I am not,"Truly, Brahman, indeed, it is that knows he is not;Knowing that "I am," Brahman, indeed, it is that knows thus.
6. Brahman is only yourself. hence, "I am not Brahman"---this is only delusion. difference comes into being from delusion; All sorrows are rooted in that.
7. The pentad of troubles is not experienced by one who has discrimination of the pentad of sheaths. Hence it is that persons of skillful intellect Ever investigate the pentad of sheaths.
8. The pentad of sheaths of food, prana, Mind, [intellectual] knowledge and bliss, Existing one inside another, from discrimination, The shining Self experiences.
9. The body, known to be of the nature of food, Is a sheath, not the Self, for it is inert like a pot, Having an origin earlier, ceasing to exist later, And being an object of perception.
10. This sheath of the nature of prana, A kind of air inside the body and delimited by the body--- How can there be Self-hood for this, Connected, as it is, with the affliction of hunger and thirst?
11. Creating the sense of "I" in regard to the body, Creating the sense of "mine" in regard to the house and others, subject to likes and dislikes, This, the sheath of the nature of the mind, is not the Self.
12. In deep sleep, disappearing into itself, On awakening, pervading the entire body, Known by the name of [the sheath of] intellect, This reflection of Consciousness too, is not the Self.
13. That which believes, "I am happy," In the snatches of happiness while in the deep sleep state, Named as the sheath of bliss- How can that ego be the Self?
14. What shines as being the original being, That indeed is the Bliss, the Self of all, Because it is existent before and after, Being changeless and not affected [by anything else].
15. Beyond the annamaya (of the nature of food) [sheath] and others, if nothing else is experienced, There is no detraction from this---that There exists an experiencer of the annamaya and others.
16. Though it, of itself, experiences, It cannot be experienced; There can never even once be a doubt of nonexistence Of the Reality, which is of the nature of Knowledge.
17. The Self experiences the universe, But this (Self) is not experienced by the universe. the sun fully illumines all else, But is itself not illumined indeed.
18. That, this, like that, like this, this much, that much, and thus--- That which will not be so Should be understood to be Brahman; Otherwise, it would be an object and not directly experienced.
19. even though objects everywhere believed as "this," "this" can be disturbed (or contradicted), Reality, because of Existence, is undisturbable (uncontradictable) And is not beyond Awareness (direct experience).
20. Brahman, though not knowable (intellectually) Is not beyond Awareness, being self luminous, Brahman is Reality, Knowledge, Infinity thus is expressed its definition.
21. If there is conditioning by the power of the sheaths, the states of being jiva and Isvara come into being from the Self. If not, in their absence (because of their nonexistence) The Self shines in its real naturee, without distinctions.
22. If all that is seen is subject to contradiction, Nothing at all exists---if thus is the worldly decision, That which is determined to be none (of these) at all. Is, indeed, brahman, thus is the determination by the Veda-s.
23. Though this is so, to those devoid of reflection On aphorisms such as "That you are," This Self seems as if beyond awareness (invisible) though shining inwardly.
That is it for now...

Trying to understand Self-inquiry

2009-09-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

I take a question and answer between Maharsh and a devotee, and try to understand what he is getting at, as to how to transcend the ego. When I copy things from a word document, blogspot has the tendency to put words together which I'm too lazy to correct.

'Question 1: When I think ‘Who am I?’, the answer comes‘I am not this mortal body but I am chaitanya, atma, or para-atma.’ And suddenly another question arises — ‘Whyhas atma come into maya?’ or in other words ‘Why has Godcreated this world?’

Answer: To enquire ‘Who am I?’ really means trying tofind out the source of the ego or the ‘I’ thought. You are not tothink of other thoughts, such as ‘I am not this body, etc.’ Seeking the source of ‘I’ serves as a means of getting rid of all other thoughts. We should not give scope to other thoughts, such asyou mention, but must keep the attention fixed on finding outthe source of the ‘I’ thought, by asking (as each thought arises)to whom the thought arises and if the answer is ‘I get the thought’by asking further who is this ‘I’ and whence its source?"'

Who is this I, and whence is it's source? So perhaps that question can be asked of the personality. How did this sense of individuality, the personality ,that I arise, or who is it, and whence is it's source? Whence is it's source? Does it have one? Is the point that it doesn't exist? Or that it does and
I should abide in the source from which the personality (the ego) arises, and keep my attention fixed, the key thing is, though I believe people have been saying to keep attention on the 'I', or hold the "i". But that's not what Maharshi says. He says keep attention on it's source. That's a mysterious objective. What is the source of the personality, the ego, the I.
Maybe it's because if the source of the I is held, the i will merge into it. If I hold onto the I, what good does that do? Ego holds onto ego, ego fights ego. That can go on forever and cause a headache, dullness. But if I hold onto it's source. That's going deeper then the sense of individuality. That is probably the key in how it transcends a mental battle. So when something arises.
Who does it arise to? Is directing perhaps back to the personality, the ego for which it is arising. Now the question is, what is the ego's source, and holding the source, not the ego, not the "I", but it's source. That is such a huge difference. I arises, whence is it's source? What does whence mean?
From what source or origin? Even as I write, thoughts arise, there is the personality thinking about these things. Whence is it's source. From where does it's source arise? Or just where is it's source? I think it's saying where is the source of the I, not where is the origin of the source? Is that a correct use of whence?
That's the thing, these little things matter so much. It's not just semantical. You can spend years doing inquiry improperly. Technically, I imagine this is not instruction for a long-term practice. Practically, for most of us it probably will be because of long-standing habits. And even a deep glimpse or experience, I've had some, does not mean things aren't going to return.
But Maharshi is 'looking' from the perspective of the Self, (whatever that is), Brahman, that is all that is real to him, that is who he is, and he has no belief in anything else, no experience of anything apart from that, even if illusory. Brahman is all he expereinces, and all he is. So when maharshi gives a response, I don't think he's telling people how to stay in bondage for a long while and slowly progress.
He's giving instructions that if followed as deep as they are intended will immediately result in REalization, not in 5 minutes, but immediately. So if it's not, it seems helpful to analyze it, and see what he was getting at. One problem, I fret, is that, were the translators Realized, I would think that could potentially make a difference, unless like David GOdman, he's a brilliant translator and makes up for it.
But it's important that the words carry the intention of the one who was Realized in saying them. If there is a slight mix up of the word, source for something else, based on what that person thinks was meant based on their own not quite accurate view, based on taking themselves to be an individual even a spiritual one.
But I'm assuming the translation is good. So I think what he's saying, is all other thoughts should be disregarded because he says, "we should not give scope to other thoughts" I don't think that means for the next 5 years holding thoughts at bay. That means right now, from this moment on, the thoughts I've been thinking for the past 30 years are null and void, and are to be completely ignored as having any reality.
What else could it mean if he's speaking of directly realizing what he experiences. "but keep the attention fixed on finding the source of the 'I' thought". So disregard all thoughts, past, pressent, future, my whole life, all my experiences, everything, everyone I know, everything, completely disregard it, it is not good for me, and it will not help me.
And now, keep my attention fixed on finding the source of the 'I' thought. I asked Nome (my spiritual teacher) what is meant by I-thought, or I asked him if my intuition was correct that it refers to the sense of me. He said that it was. So it's not a disembodied 'I' somewhere. I needed that clarified. the sense of me, is the personality, as I'm writing this, there is this personality that is writing, that is thinking, that I perceive in someway even though it is not visual.
I'm assuming that is what is referred to by the I-thought. So what is it's source, and Maharshi says to keep my attention on finding it's source. There is the personality, I now that I've disregarded everything, keep my attention on finding it's source. That is so much deeper then "holding onto the "i"". He is giving instructions taht lay bare how to REalize right this moment. "by asking as each thought arises, "to whom does this thought arise?" and if the answer is I get the thought. Who is this 'I', and whence is it's source?
I should add, that makes sense, because if you hold onto I, or make yourself aware of the personality and hold it, you are still stuck. You can' transcend the personality by dealing with the personality. But here, it seems, he's calling attention first to the personality that is having the thought or experience, referring back to the one who is having it. For me, it seems helpful to be aware of the personality I take myself to be. The personality or ego is not really an object, it's not something that can be held. But is something I can make myself aware of, so I'm not taking it for granted. But that is not enough. He is saying, to search for the source of the personality. For instance I have a negative thought, I did in the last 5 minutes, there is the personality, which is who I take myself to be. What is the source of the persoanlity, while the actions are going on, has the potential it seems to take one beyond the ego, and I think that is what maharshi is getting at. The actinos presumably will still go on. While my attention is not on the personality, but aware of the personality and searching for it's source, perhaps to get so much deeper then the personality, or the "i". I just don't like calling it the "i", because I like to be literal when I'm trying to understand something so difficult to understand.

On love

2009-09-16T11:01:00.001-07:00

This was Nome's response as to whether love is in relationship or not. It was in response to romantic difficulties. It was so good that I taped a printed version of it to my wall. It's noteable his not veering away from the central message that love is the Self.

Dear Kassy,Om Namo Bhagavate Sri RamanayaNamaste. Thank you for your message.Love may be said to be the unitary "feeling" of Being; that is, itis of the very nature of the indivisible Self. One who revels in the Self isthe same in a crowd or in a solitary place, with close friends or without,married or single, and so forth and so on.That which is truly desired by all is the Bliss of the Self, whichis undivided Being. Finding that within, all desires dissolve for the onewho knows. The Being of the Self is ever-existent. It is not born when thebody is born and does not perish with the death of the body. It exists:realize it within you and do not postpone your bliss.Love in the form of desire, wishing for someone or something else toprovide the happiness that is actually innate, is mired and entangled indelusion. If it is in the form of the desire to make the other or othershappy, too, it is higher because of less egotism. If it is the wish forothers to be happy with no regard for the ego, it is better. If it is in theform of the perfect fullness of the Self, with no notion of ego or other, itis true and without a veil. Such a one experiences neither desire nor fearand rests content within.I hope that the above is helpful for you. Reflect upon its meaningand inquire to know yourself. You will thus be ever happy and at peace.Ever yours in Truth,Nome

On deep spiritual states and anger

2009-09-16T10:58:00.002-07:00

Dear Kassy,Om Namo Bhagavate Sri RamanayaNamaste. Thank you for your several messages.There are innumerable modes of mind. One self-luminous Consciousnessknows all of them. Savikalpa means "with differentiation." Nirvikalpa means"without differentiation." Various yogis and rishis have employed theseterms in various ways. For some, savikalpa signifies samadhi with someaspect of perception or thought, such as upon the indivisible nature ofExistence, and such, while nirvikalpa is that in which all perception andthought is absent. In the short text entitled Drg-drsya-viveka (TheDiscrimination of the Seer and the Seen), Adi Sankara, the wondrous Acarya,defines savikalpa samadhi in terms of means of entrance, such as meditationon the unreality of the world, and such, and further delineates interior andexterior kinds of these, while nirvikalpa samadhi entails entrance withoutdifferentiation, with the essence of the samadhi being the same in all. Thesame description is found in Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi and isreiterated in the glossary of Ribhu Gita and the Song of Ribhu. Certainly,the distinctions and the questions regarding such do not arise in samadhi.Abide as the Self, and samadhi is found to be the natural, innate (sahaja)state.Whenever the ego dissolves and in proportion to its dissolution,higher experience shines. If the ego emerges and in proportion to themisidentifications and attachments conjured up, the higher experience fades.First the ego is imagined, and the experience is considered objective ratherthan one's very Existence. Then it becomes memory. Then, it fades, unlessone practices. Therefore, Self-inquiry should be ardently practiced untilthe notion of individuality is impossible.Along with detachment from action, detachment from the results ofaction, contemplation upon transience, and discrimination regardinghappiness, the very idea of being a performer of action (kartrtva), whichinvolves misidentification with the body, senses, and mind, should bequestioned.It is beneficial to wisely examine in order to destroy the rootcause, along with the manifest thoughts, etc. of "problems." It is worthlessto bemoan oneself, which involves the repetitive adherence to unexaminedideas, or to ascribe outer causes for one's own imagined ignorance, bondage,or unhappiness. So, continue to inwardly discern the inner Bliss of Beingthat is the actual source of happiness and love. Truly discern ignorance asignorance, and it will be gone.While sadness or despair may be a starting place for spiritualaspiration, such as expressed by Rama in the opening portion of YogaVasishta, it vanishes, along with the ideas constituting such, as soon as adeep inquiry commences, as expressed in the entirety of the remainder ofthat scripture and countless other texts.Anger (krodha) is rooted in kama (desire) and avidya (ignorance).Destruction of the ignorant root is essential for freedom from it.Redirection of the anger, let alone, at the Maharshi, is not advisable. Bydoing such, the preposterous and presumptuous character of doing so may seemso starkly evident that it affords some relief from or temporary abeyance ofthe anger, but the causes will still be left intact to resume later, and,moreover, such redirection is fraught with far too many errors and delusionsthan can be elaborated upon here in this message. Destruction by trueKnowledge is fruitful, and the fruit endures. If you must redirect, redirectthe anger, or the intensity lent to the anger, at the anger, itself, intentupon no longer carrying on with such illusion.The above answers a number of questions and points raised in yourmessages of the last three weeks or so. I hope that you find these answersand comments helpful.May you abide absorbed in the Bliss of the Self, and, by the Graceof Sri Bhagavan, remain in the steady Knowledge of That, as That, itself.Ever yours in Truth,Nome

Functioning in school, and the 'I am the doer' notion.

2009-09-16T10:58:00.001-07:00

This one was one where my teacher responded about the performer of action notion. It was in response to a letter about school difficulties functioning.

Dear Kassy,Om Namo Bhagavate Sri RamanayaNamaste. Thank you for your messages.The analogies given by Sri Bhagavan concerning the train and theluggage and the temple tower and the carved figure pertain to the unrealityof the ego and the falseness of the conception of being the performer ofaction.Activity is not bondage and is not the cause of suffering. The "I amthe doer" idea is limitation and causes suffering. Mere cessation of bodilyactions does not yield Liberation. If inaction is grasped with fear as thecause, the fear will only intensify or endure. The result is indolence andnot spiritual peace. In such a mode of mind, concepts about external sourcesof happiness and suffering, and misidentification of the Self with the body,are delusions left intact.Action without attachment, as taught in Bhagavad Gita, YogaVasishta, and other holy texts, is correct. Such is easily attained by thosewho know the source of happiness within. They then inquire to realize theSelf as bodiless Being. Being beyond the identification with the body, theyremain at peace and free even when the body acts. The body acts; the Selfabides still.You may wish to continue to consider what was mentioned in aprevious email regarding self-centered thoughts.It may also be helpful to consider what you presently regard as atroubling situation for yourself contrasted with the phenomenal hardshipsfaced by other people around the world. It may provide some perspective.The Gita declares, Let a man lift himself up; let him not lowerhimself.Surrender is to God. Giving up in frustration and reacting byentertaining a mental mode of apathy has nothing to do with the deepdevotion in which the perfect fullness shines.The above is mentioned in the hope that it will clarify, inspire,and encourage.May your meditations be deep and the spiritual freedom that you findsuffuse the entirety of your life.Ever yours in Truth,Nome

Christianity and hell

2009-09-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

This was a Nome response about Christianity and hell. Soon after practicing inquiry I got really guilty or nervous about past sins, and worried about supernatural things like hell. So I wanted to see how he would address it. Someone mentioned, that there was a negative reptutation/gossip about Nome, and you are free to take that at it's word or not. But i have found this correspondence extremely helpful and worth sharing. I would almost say they are too good not to share. So 1 a day.

Dear Kassy,
Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya
Namaste.
Self-Knowledge and Self-inquiry are of the nature of Reality, whichknows no sectarian division. It is like asking if God is a Hindu orChristian. The humor of such is obvious. The same holds true for the natureof Jesus.
Vedanta has excellently preserved, in experience and scripture,these essential teachings. Perhaps this is due to the absence of "heresyhunting," with its concomitant book burning, violence, malice etc. carriedout by those who have not a clue as to the real nature of God, worship,wisdom, etc. but who nonetheless masquerade as "religious." Or it may be dueto the abundance of sages who have appeared in this ancient spiritualtradition.
Heaven and hell are according to the conceiver or perceiver of them.For those who experience such, such appear to be real. For those who knowall is in the mind, they appear as states or modes of mind. They thus ridthemselves of the errors that form the hell and find the heaven within. Forthose who abide as the Self, there is only That, God, and nothing elsewhatsoever. The value of the ritual or form of worship is according to the onewho practices it. See Saddarshanam and Upadesha Saram (both by the Maharshi)for a profound understanding of the relation of worship with name and formto the practice of what is formless or the worship of the formless. Yes, thefinal worship, puja, oblation, offering, etc. is Self-Realization.Nonetheless, Sri Muruganar performed puja with a Siva-lingam, and SriRamanasramam conducts much worship (puja), holy text recitations (VedaParayana and the Tamil Parayana), etc., and there is at the center of itspremises at Arunachala the Matribhutesvara Temple in traditional style withtraditional worship offered by the priests.
So, worship in any form is good if it diminishes the ego. It is bestto know what you worship, for thus your worship is in Truth.
Ever yours in Truth,
Nome

my journey of spiritual practice.

2009-09-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

When I was 22, something extraordinary happened, that i don't quite have words for. And I feel like any attempt to storytell about the past, is just a story, and that is why I'm hesitant to do it. In crude language, there was a breakthrough to a much more intense awareness, basically like tripping on 100 hits of acid, but not having done any drugs. and it didn't go away and it freaked me out. I was aware of big spiritual truths and revelations but also intense fear and wanting it to go away. this is a vast reduction, simplification of what it was really like. a few years later, I started getting acupuncture and at first had great success, but then it led to needing to deeper, which led to yoga (first weekly because that was all I could take then daily), then tai chi (daily), occassionally chi gong, anything to stay in the deepest awareness where I could actually connect with others, then vipassana. There would be set backs along the way that required a deeper form of practice, and finally the current practice of attempting to stay in egoless Bliss also known as Self-inquiry.

Evil Behavior

2009-09-11T09:14:00.001-07:00

I decided, since it's been so helpful to me, I'm going to post one e-mail exchange between me and Nome periodically or even everday I post. (I believe he is fully Realized, a jnani, it's O.K. if others don't) In this one I asked a question about a teacher that I felt had showed sadism in regards to animals. He responded:

Dear Kassy,
Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya
Namaste. Thank you for both of your recent messages.
It is good that you are delving into the four requisites (sadhana)for Realization and the application of them in your own spiritual practice.It is also beneficial to deepen your practice by examining the previousviews of spiritual practice, Realization, and yourself in order to discardlimitations, while retaining that which is fruitful.
When in ignorance, beings use the instruments of action (body,speech, and mind) in foolish and karma-producing ways, because of theirdelusion. Due to that delusion, they do not even perceive how deluded theirviews and activities are. The very basis, that of doing unto others as onewould have others do unto oneself, is not grasped by them. Such dwell intheir own suffering, oblivious of the nature of the true Self and even thepurpose of life. Deserving of compassion, even the compassion they do notshow toward others, they are like characters in a dream who are, themselves,dreaming and talking in their sleep.
The resolution comes from Knowledge of the Self, which istranscendent of the bodies of all and is not confined or defined by life ordeath. This shines as immovable peace and eternal freedom.
If the desire for Liberation is strong and consistent, all that isneeded will manifest within you.
Ever yours in Truth,
Nome

"Deserving of compassion, even the compassion they do notshow toward others, they are like characters in a dream who are, themselves,dreaming and talking in their sleep." I just want to emphasize how profound I just found that. I never really noticed the full implication. I'm dreaming in this waking state, and the people i perceive as 'evil' or 'mean' or 'sadistic' are other characters in the dream who are dreaming and talking in their sleep. wow!

K.S. Swaminathan

2009-09-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

from David Godman's Blog:
The Hindu view is that the state of freedom is natural; Tamil uses the same word (veedu) for home, heaven and freedom. The free man is happy here and now. The saint is normal; it is he who provides the norm for the rest of us. We love him because he is the outward image of our inmost Self; he prefigures the evolutionary possibilities of the race. He is already what all men will become one day. If the Maharshi’s personal attendants included harijans and his followers included foreigners, if in his ashram a shrine was raised to a woman and a widow, it was all accepted as ‘natural’. The distinctions between pariah and pandit, dog and man, vanished in his presence…Apart from his spoken, acted and written teachings, the simple human friendliness of Bhagavan showed the utter soulabhya, the easy accessibility, of the ultimate Truth when it graciously chooses to embody itself in human form. Bhagavan was not merely a yogi or a teacher or a saint: he was a seer, a being comprehending and transcending all these lower categories, and he succeeded in being a friend of everyone – sinner or saint, prince or peasant, old or young, learned or ignorant, man or woman, cow, dog, monkey or peacock. Hundreds of quite ordinary human visitors to the ashram were treated like intimate friends by Maharshi, who took a most sympathetic interest in all their personal affairs: the train they came on, the food they ate, the marriages and deaths, the appointments and promotions that occurred in their families. No one felt that he was unimportant or unwanted. Women and harijans were no less welcome than learned brahmins to this charmed circle. To all he taught humility without humiliating any, as he taught self-surrender without loss of freedom.If the good teacher is a friend who joins you where you are and leads you up from that point to the mountain top of truth, then Maharshi is the greatest teacher the world has seen because he refused to stretch us on a Procrustean bed of creed or conduct. He did not merely concede as a matter of formal politeness, but convinced every one of his devotees and disciples that there are as many distinct ways of reaching the goal as there are unique human individuals. His more than mother-like tenderness made no harsh choice between one friend and another among the thousands of his friends; and his steady, calm and unfailing cheerfulness and rock-like certainty sprang from his conviction that the world-process must end in the final release of all beings.Bhagavan has said:
When the ego rises, the mind is separated from its source, the Self, and is restless, like a stone thrown up in the air, or like the waters of a river. When the stone or the river reaches its place of origin, the ground or the ocean, it comes to rest. So too the mind comes to rest and is happy when it returns to and rests in its source. As the stone and the river are sure to return to their starting place, so too the mind will inevitably – at some time – return to its source. Thus, all shall reach the goal. Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside. [Prof. Swaminathan has not attributed this quote, but it seems to be a paraphrase of and commentary on Arunachala Ashtakam, verse eight. This is Prof. Swaminathan’s own translation of the verse, taken from his Five Hymns to Arunachala and Other Poems of Sri Ramana Maharshi:
The raindrops showered down by the clouds, risen from the sea, cannot rest until they reach, despite all hindrance, once again their ocean home. The embodied soul from You [Arunachala] proceeding may through various ways self-chosen wander aimless for a while but cannot rest till it joins You, the source. A bird may hover here and there and cannot in mid-heaven stay. It must come back the way it came to find at last on earth alone its resting place. Even so, the soul must turn to You, O Aruna Hill, and merge again in You alone, Ocean of Bliss. Prof. Swaminathan met Mahatma Gandhi in 1915, twenty-five years before he encountered Bhagavan. He was a lifelong Gandhian who, starting in 1960, spent more than a quarter of a century editing the more-than-ninety volumes that comprise Gandhi’s Collected Works. His allegiance to both Gandhi and Bhagavan compelled him to ponder the apparently competing claims of pro-active service to the nation and inner contemplation. He saw no conflict in Bhagavan’s own life, as the following two paragraphs (taken from the two articles that are the source of the earlier passages) demonstrate:]Ramana Maharshi] chose to dwell like a tame bird in the cage of the ashram’s regulations. Not only did he sit in the centre of a great household; he read letters and newspapers; he corrected proofs and did a hundred odd jobs with scrupulous care. He stressed by precept as well as by example the primacy of dharma, right action. Many devotees who wished to escape from the duties of their station in life he ‘ordered back to their posts’.To a question on the relation of karma yoga and karma sannyasa, he gave an answer in the manner of a Zen Master. Without uttering a word, he walked up the hill, cut off two sticks from a tree and fashioned them into walking sticks. One he gave to the questioner and the other to a passerby. Then he said, ‘The making of the walking sticks is karma yoga; the gift of them is sannyasa’.[In his attempts to synthesise the ideas of Gandhi with the advaitic teachings of Bhagavan, Prof. Swaminathan often framed the discussion around the purusharthas, the traditional four goals or aims of human life for Hindus. Dharma is the performance of social duties in an ethical way; artha is the acquisition of wealth through righteous means; kama is the happiness derived from sensual enjoyments; moksha, liberation, is the natural state of abiding as the Self.Mahalakshmi Suryanandan, Prof. Swaninathan’s daughter, mentioned in her introduction to this new book that some of the old articles she resurrected for this anthology were lying dog-eared and crumbling in a drawer. This struck a chord with me since I remember finding a Swaminathan piece in a similar state of disrepair in the early 1980s. It had been languishing in an ashram file for years, with no author’s name on it, but when I read it and discovered it to be an essay on dharma, artha, kama and moksha I immediately knew who the author was. Although he didn’t, on rereading it, think it had any particular merit, I persuaded him to let it be published in The Mountain Path.Bhagavan’s position on the purusharthas was that moksha was the only real state, and that it is realised once one abandons the other three purusharthas to dwell in the mauna of the Self:
To abandon completely dharma, artha and kama is the good fortune of liberation, the excellent state of peace. Therefore, completely give up thoughts of all those other attainments and live a life in which you take as your sole target mauna, the experience that arises in a mind which dwells on Sivam, the supreme swarupa. Calling even the attainments [of dharma, artha and kama], which suffer from the defect of appearing and disappearing in an illusory way, ‘everlasting’, is a polite attribution, a superimposition. The hard-to-attain liberation [the fourth purushartha, moksha], whose nature is the excellent and true Atma-jnana, which is the goal that should be attained by everyone, is alone the everlasting attainment. (Guru Vachaka Kovai, verses 1204, 230) I have given this long preamble on the purusharthas because this new Swaminathan anthology contains an interesting article, entitled ‘Dharma and Moksha’, that discusses, in an elegant way, the apparently conflicting demands of worldly action, and duties, sadhana, and other-worldly renunciation. No publication information is given, so I cannot say if it has ever been published before. What follows is an abridged version of what Prof. Swaminathan originally wrote:]Everyone in the world wants to be happy – at all times, in all places and under all conditions. This quest for ananda is the universal desire and the goal of all human endeavour. There are, however, some persons who are happy at all times, in all places and under all conditions, and that too without any desire, and without any effort on their part. This strange paradox about happiness – that one who seeks it strenuously often misses it, while the one who is indifferent to it enjoys it – is explained by our failure to distinguish between pleasure or satisfaction on the one hand and happiness or ananda on the other. We mistake pleasure for happiness and, pursuing it as if it were happiness, end up in all kinds of misery.In Who am I? and Talks Sri Bhagavan brings out clearly this distinction between happiness, which is our inherent and permanent nature, and the pleasure which we, from time to time, derive from the satisfaction of our desires, physical and mental, healthy or unhealthy.Happiness is the very nature of the Self; happiness and the Self are not different. There is no happiness in any object of the world. We imagine through our ignorance that we derive happiness from objects. When the mind goes out, it experiences misery. In truth, when its desires are fulfilled, it returns to its own place and enjoys the happiness that is the Self. Similarly, in the states of sleep, samadhi and fainting, and when the object desired is obtained, or the object disliked is removed, the mind becomes inward-turned and enjoys pure Self-happiness. Thus the mind moves without rest, alternately going out of the Self and returning to it. Under the tree the shade is pleasant; out in the open the heat is scorching. A person who has been going about in the sun feels cool when he reaches the shade. Someone who keeps on going from the shade to the sun and then back to the shade is a fool. A wise man stays permanently in the shade. Similarly, the mind of the one who knows the truth does not leave Brahman. The mind of the ignorant one, on the contrary, revolves in the world, feeling miserable, and for a little time returns to Brahman to experience happiness. In fact, what is called the world is only thought. When the world disappears, i.e. when there is no thought, the mind experiences happiness; and when the world appears, it goes through misery.Absolute and permanent happiness does not reside in objects but in the Atman. Such happiness is peace, free from pain and pleasure. In Talks it is said:
If a man thinks that his happiness is due to external causes and his possessions, it is reasonable to conclude that his happiness must increase with the increase of his possessions, and diminish in proportion to their diminution. Therefore, if he is devoid of possessions, his happiness would be nil. What is the real experience of man? Does it conform to this view?In deep sleep the man is devoid of possessions, including his own body. Instead of being unhappy, he is quite happy. Everyone desires to sleep soundly. The conclusion is that happiness is inherent in man and is not due to external causes. One must realise one’s self in order to open the store of unalloyed happiness. For the sadhaka no doubt the ultimate goal is the complete extinction of the ego, when the jiva and the world cease to be and only the brightness and bliss of pure awareness remains. This goal, gained in a matter of a few moments by Bhagavan, seems to most of us to be too remote and indeed inaccessible in this our present life. We are repeatedly told and we readily believe that spiritual progress has to be gradual and that moksha should wait until we have gone through the other purusharthas. Self-enquiry, the direct sovereign method taught by Bhagavan, gets continuously postponed while we are busy discovering and painfully practising our dharma, or worse still, we allow ourselves to be lulled into a spiritual sleep by sentimental bhakti and escape from the responsibility of our station in life.If moksha is bliss and if bliss is our real, permanent and inescapable nature, what is its relation to dharma? Dharma is not a normative or moralistic concept; it is well-being, health and growth, rooted in responsibility and freedom to play with the light and warmth of awareness. The tree does not distinguish between horizontal and vertical growth, between its loyalties to earth, water, air and to the sun. It follows its nature and grows unawares till seed becomes tree and matures into fruit. This also is the human destiny. We are seed sown in the soil and, eating matter and warmth, bound to become fruit. The eater ceases to eat and becomes food. The man of dharma ripens into the mukta. We however separate dharma, our empirical nature as prakriti, from moksha, our transcendental nature as Purusha. Instead of exposing ourselves to the sun wherever we are and drinking in its light and warmth, we make elaborate plans of travelling towards it at some future time.The traditional view of dharma as that which binds man’s social existence to a moral order which holds, preserves and protects mankind can be illustrated by Kausalya’s words to Rama before he left for the forest.She said, ‘May that dharma which you have nourished with determination and discipline protect you. This is the only blessing I can give.’Here we have the popular idea of Rama as the fullest and clearest embodiment of dharma, the horizontal or interpersonal dimension of human growth. The mother rightly regards her son as a moral athlete who has, with determination and discipline, nourished dharma, which in turn is expected to protect him as the mother protects the child.But Sri Ramana Maharshi prefers to dwell on the truer and more mature image of Sri Rama presented in the Yoga Vasishta. He cites with approval the preceptor’s adjuration to the pupil who, absorbed in the bliss of awareness, is disinclined to act in the world of time and space:
Holding firmly at heart to the truth of your being, play like a hero your part on the world stage, inwardly calm and detached, but assuming zeal and joy, stirrings and aversions, initiative and effort, and performing outward actions appropriate to your particular role in various situations. In other words, the quest for Self-realisation, serious mumukshutva, goes hand in hand with bold heroic action. The call to such action, addressed to Sri Rama, is meant really for us. In outward action, or the practice of dharma, there is no difference between the seeker and the realised person. The disinterested action which the seeker performs deliberately as a matter of discipline, which is for him a means of discovering his identity with fellow-beings, is for the jnani such as Sri Rama or Janaka the spontaneous expression of such identity….In recommending and indeed prescribing the quest of the Self to all thoughtful persons in the adolescent and adult stages of life, Bhagavan makes a radical and necessary departure from the letter of the tradition in order to restore its spirit. In chapter three of Sri Ramana Gita the paramount task of man is declared to be ‘the discovery of our real human nature, which is the basis of all actions and their fruit’. This quest for our real nature, the withdrawing of thoughts from sense objects and steady self-enquiry, is not to be postponed. In chapter ten, ‘Sangha Vidya’, one’s duty to one’s circle and to humanity is clearly defined as an organic interdependence to be promoted both by shanti which purifies one’s own mind, and by shakti, which is required for the progress of society. The attenuation of the ego by steady self-enquiry and the acceptance in practice of normal and family responsibilities can alone lead to the brotherhood and equality, which is the supreme goal to be attained by mankind as a whole...Loving the Lord God with all one’s heart and loving one’s neighbour as oneself are not two commandments but one. We cannot effectively love and serve our neighbour unless we have succeeded in some measure in loving the Father as Awareness...Instead of complaining against one’s real circumstances, one derives inexhaustible strength from inner happiness (uran in Tamil) and says with Thoreau, ‘I love my fate to the very core and rind’. One’s present life is the fruit one has earned and must eat to the last bite.As we climb the mountain path, the view widens; new responsibilities come to us and are cheerfully undertaken. We are no more inclined to off-shoulder our burden on others. We find fulfillment in mastering rather than evading svadharma [one’s own duties and obligations]. Such svadharma, disinterested action surrendered to the Lord (Upadesa Saram, verse three), purifies the mind and points the way to moksha. Through the practice of dharma we become progressively more eligible for the ultimate happiness of moksha…In any case, at all times and places and under all conditions, dharma has to be practised, whether as duty and discipline or as the happy and spontaneous expression of awareness… It is only in and through dharma that the happiness of moksha can be reached or manifested...As ends and means are inseparable, so are moksha and dharma. They reinforce each other in healthy individual and social life. They are, in fact, the empirical and transcendental modes of our being, whose basic nature is the bliss of awareness, stillness, shanti, broken occasionally by ripples of action, movement, shakti. It must be remembered [though] that dharma is bound by time, while moksha is the boundless bliss of awareness.[I will make no comment on Prof. Swaminathan’s views about the relationship between dharma and moksha. Instead, I will conclude with a series of quotations from Bhagavan himself. These, I hope, will demonstrate that, so far as Bhagavan was concerned, true dharma is abiding in and as the Self:
Since the impartite, non-dual, true jnana alone abides and shines as the refuge for all dharma-observances, the jnani [alone] becomes the one who has observed all the dharmas. (Guru Vachaka Kovai, verse 705. The following paragraph is Muruganar’s explanatory note to this verse)Since non-dual jnana alone shines as the refuge for all the dharmas, the jnani who is established in that state [automatically] becomes the one who has observed all dharmas impeccably. There is no greater dharma than getting firmly established in the Self. All the actions of that jnani who possesses motionless consciousness are actions of God. Living as the Self is the essence of all dharmas. All other dharmas merge there. (Padamalai, p. 134, v. 44)The supreme reality exists as the undivided space of true jnana. When we become different from it and rise as a false ‘I’ that frolics about and suffers, this constitutes the sin of destroying that non-duality by cleaving it into two, the ‘I’ [nan] and God [tan], thus bringing ruination upon the way of dharma. (Guru Vachaka Kovai, verse 777)The state of abiding as swarupa, which is the pure and vast true consciousness, is an obligation that should be firmly observed by all the beings in the world.Swadharma [one’s own duty] is abidance in the pure Self only. All other [perceived] duties are worthless. (Padamalai, p. 299, vv. 13, 16)By becoming the source of all desires, the ego is the doorway to the sorrow of samsara. The extremely heroic and discriminating person first attains through dispassion the total renunciation of desires that arise in the form of ‘I want’. Subsequently, through the Selfward enquiry ‘Who am I?’, he renounces that ego, leaving no trace of it, and attains the bliss of peace, free from anxieties. This is the supreme benefit of dharma. (Guru Vachaka Kovai, verse, 850)]

media dysfunctionality

2009-09-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

I get curious and watch clips on youtube, but I have to say, the modern media is so dysfunctional as far as the way things get portrayed, that it is not that good for me to watch alot of it.

U.S. President; A Sage

2009-09-07T17:45:00.000-07:00

There was a huge outcry over Obama's speech to school children that he was going to be indoctrinating the youth into socialism. And it turned out to be an inspirational speech, but one that I felt reading it transcended age-relevance. There are alot of things about Obama that remind me of a Ramana Maharshi, or a Nome only holding a high political office, an example of showing people how to act wisely. In taoism there is the notion of the taoist emperor sage. the verses on how the sage governs remind me of how Obama governs. And his advise reminds me alot of Nome's, where he is really advising people to look within beyond circumstance. I watch Obama clips almost as much as Nome clips or Papaji clips because I recognize that there is a fountain of wisdom there. When I went to Society of Abidance in Truth the first time, I reacted very negatively and angrily to Nome. and some of the right wing reaction to Obama has been far more heated then to any previous president. And I think partly because a Jnani's grace and wisdom contrasts so much more strongly with the ignorance and egotism and is much more of a threat, then someone who is ideologically opposed. To be quite honest, I'm not sure there has been as grace-fountain of national leader of any country for maybe many centuries then Obama. When I've recently become inspired by Lincoln. I was into anarchist politics. But I've come to the conclusion, that what I oppose is less the state, although perhaps a more stateless way of things would be better, but the unwise, egotistical, dishonest, immature, authoritarian way people have run countries as far back I can remember and throughout most of history. I was noticing a similar phenomenon with Lincoln as to Obama as far as U.S. presidents. Even as an 'anarchist', when I passed the Lincoln statue in the Park Blocks, I felt some reverence. Because of his melancholy, thoughtful expression. That he was president during a catosphrophic civil war. But not just any civil war, one that was largely based around the ending of slavery. So there was something holy about that war. It was also noticeable that in keeping with my theory that Obama and Lincoln are the two 'Enlightened' presidents, Lincoln's election caused a huge outcry from the pro-slavery people. even though Lincoln's rhetoric was largely moderate, wanting to prevent slavery from expanding. Part of that I think is because it was known that Lincoln was strongly anti-slavery even if he was rhetorically somewhat careful. he had said things in the Lincoln douglas debates that reading them had a strong tone of slavery being strongly exclusive to the principles the country was founded on, namely all men are created equal. But I also suspect someone who was abiding in the egoless state of grace and bliss, was strongly provacative to people who are abiding in their own illusory self-importance, and that's what I see with Obama.

Undue Emphasis

2009-09-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

What he is responding to is below. Nome is my guru, a fully realized Jnani (pronounced ya-nee, I think). He's never claimed this as far as I know, but he is in the position of being this for many people, and through the spiritual effectiveness of association with him, I've reached this conclusion that basically he is someone worth seeking advice from.

Dear Kassy, Namaste. Thank you for your numerous messages during the last tendays. Between the retreat just completed, other matters that requiredattention, and this body's Parkinson's Disease, which limits the dexterityrequired to type, this is the first opportunity to respond in writing. With a little examination, it should be easily observable by youthat the confusion and suffering in the mind are due to an undue emphasis onor preoccupation with the supposed individual and his desires (materiallyfulfilled or not). When this occurs, the mind provides turmoil for itselfaccompanied by sadness. Sense of proportion is lost, and the delusivetendency that conceives that such a state (both internal and external) willcontinue forever may be generated. On the far tail end, the angst andsuffering may even become so manifested in one's conduct that the behavioror communication lends itself to promoting the very thing feared or that onedesires to avert. In addition, one sorrows over supposed last opportunitieswhile ignoring the present opportunity. Turn inward and become peacefully nonattached in the understandingof the source of happiness. Thereby, the sense of proportion will return orbe found anew. Reflect on what you have read, heard, and observed regardinghappiness. Consider how much "space" would be in your mind if you ceased toconjure up the clutter of the racing, yet circular, patterns of ideas thatare illusorily fixated on the personality that is the outgrowth of the egonotion. Bemoaning one's plight and wallowing in misplaced self-pity overone's supposed incompleteness are not to be equated with the self-criticalexamination to destroy misconceptions that proceeds to the inquiry thatreveals the innate perfection. Discriminate when you use your mind foreither and choose the wiser path. Each seeker may feel that his bondage is the worst, his darkness thedensest, his capacity the most inadequate, his path the longest, hisobstacles the most difficult, his problems unique, etc. In truth, such isnot so. Whatever you encounter in your experience and practice has been metby those who have trod the path before you. Having found freedom from theentire illusion, they hold forth their hands, as it were, and beckon you tojoin in the bliss, showing what is true and how to find it, rousing you fromdelusion's dream, revealing the fulfillment of the purpose of life,unveiling the Truth within you. The ego is unreal. So, there is little point in cogitating over whatkind of ego one supposedly has. Deeply inquire into who you are, andSelf-Knowledge will dawn. May you abide in the perfect fullness, which is Brahman alone, andknow that alone to be your Self. Ever yours in Truth, Nome

2005 Satire I wrote

2009-09-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

At the �Rebel Alliance� headquarters, Joe and Alicia are enthralled in a deep conversation. The kind where all assumptions get thrown out the window, like so much meaningless debris, and all the people involved get to the root of the matter, the issues that define the very crux of their existences. They are in the middle of cooking one of the best stir-fries ever to have had the first world privilege of being fried in a frying pan.�The Revolution should be happening any minute�, says Joe. �Pass the salt, would you dear?��The Revolution should be happening any minute�, says Alicia. �Pass the curry powder, would you dear?��If Bush wins this election, there will be riots all over the country�, says Joe. �Where�s the Tempeh?��If Bush wins the election, there will be riots all over the country�, says Alicia. �Where�s the Tahini?��And then we can live out our desires, truly and fully�, says Joe.�And then we can live out our desires, truly and fully�, says Alicia.�I�m glad we agree�, says Joe.�I�m glad we agree�, says Alicia.There is a long pause; neither is sure what to say. Joe finally thinks of something so deep and profound, something that never had been brought to light since the birth of the wheel. His face brightens in a visionary kind of way. An incandescent light bulb appears above his head as if he has heard the voice of god. The light bulb is burning brightly. Finally he says, his words like so much poetry �So�. You wouldn�t happen to be going to Critical mass this evening would you? By chance��Funny you mention that, because indeed I am going to Critical Mass this evening by chance�, replies Alicia.There is another long pause. Finally Joe says, �Do you think we�ll beat the cops this evening?��Of course we will beat the cops this evening, because the good guys always win. I mean we�re destined to win and the revolution should be happening shortly�, replies Alicia.�The revolution should be happening shortly, I agree. The masses can�t be wrong. We�re destined to defeat our capitalist oppressors any day now� They both glance at the clock in silent expectation.�Especially since you are trained in martial arts�, says Alicia dutifully.After flexing his muscles Joe says, �Especially since I�m trained in martial arts, I�m destined to take out a few cops at the next demo. Pacifism is Pathology, you know? I read that in a very good book, in fact it was the title of a book that I highly recommend. You should read it sometime. You should also read What Uncle Sam Really Wants by Noam Chomsky. Noam Chomsky is a genius.��You are so well read, Joe. I could never be that well read�, says Alicia.�I am so well read, and you just might be able to be that well read too. You should come to our anarchist discussion group, woman. We read anarchist books and then we discuss them�, says Joe.�See, here�s a flier��That would be magical Joe,� says Alicia.�Do you think after Critical Mass, we could go out and spray paint radical anarchist slogans all over Portland?�, asks Joe respectfully.�That would be great. In fact, I thought of a new radical anarchist slogan today in Marine Biology 101, do you want to hear it?��I would be delighted. No, I would be more then delighted. I would be thrilled�, replies Joe.�OK, get ready. It�s really good��I don�t know if I can take it any longer. Tell me��OK, here it is�. Alicia says it slow and drawn out to emphasize its grandeur. �BUSH IS A MURDERER�, she says.There is silence. Finally Alicia self-consciously asks, �well did you like it?��I�m speechless. I can�t even fathom your brilliance. Your genius is too great for mortal ears such as mine. Indeed Bush is a murderer, and I had never quite thought of it that way before��Not only is Bush a murderer�, replies Alicia emphasizing Bush, �he�s a fascist��No, he�s a Nazi�, replies Joe, �just like Hitler, only worse�.The stir-fry is finished. They call in all their comrades to commence eating, for this isn�t just any day, it is Huey Newton�s birthday and everyone must be well fed. In fact, there is a stunning portrait of him on the wall right above the water filter and next to the portrait of Che Guavara. Which just happens to be, next to the portrait of Noam Chomsky. And that poster just happens to be next to the Crimethinc poster that says �Resistance is Fertile�, and shows an indigenous women somewhere in the world carrying a baby.A few seconds later, BGH (Bovine Growth Harmone), Dan, Overcast, and Josh saunter into the room heartily. Overcast sits on the counter right above the drawer, which Alicia is trying to open so that she can put silverware on the table. Overcast exclaims heroically, as Alicia struggles to move him aside �We just came from the male privilege group, and we just wanted to say to you, Alicia that we 100% support your struggle�. There is a long pause.�What are you talking about?� asks Alicia confused.�Your struggle against the patriarchy, and men such as ourselves, ruthlessly brainwashed into being predatory males without the slightest awareness of boundaries or ethics� Everyone except Alicia and Overcast nod frantically in agreement. There is another longer and more awkward pause, when suddenly Alicia exclaims excitedly.�Well I just wanted you to know that I100% support you in your struggle to 100% support me in my struggle. You guys are doing such good work, and I want to encourage you to continue your work in this direction��Whew!� says BGH. �This feminist stuff is exhausting. And I feel attacked. Let�s go watch the Simpsons and unwind. That show is truly revolutionary�Epilogue: Ah Gender! What an issue! Featured on Prairie Homo CompanionThere was a gathering of so much importance that it was messianic in scope. Every year in Southern Missouri along the Black River, flowing slowly and muddily through its hilly valley. Women gathered for the Ozarks Women�s Music Festival at Johnson Shut-ins. Hundreds of thousands of women gathered to see bands of a wide variety, many of which were punk or riot girl. It was fun. It was not only fun it was pleasurable. It was an enjoyable experience. People moshed around. People hooked up with each other either for the duration of the festival or sometimes for something more long-term.Bands and solo artists such as Tribe 10, Lingerie Murder, Team Dread, Diamond Glasses and Pipsqueak Car came to the festival to rev things up. Tribe 10 at one time had been a controversial performance, but now even they were an established part of the festivities. There was only one problem, but it was a most serious problem at that, a controversy that threatened the very fabric of the gathering. Everyone seemed to have strong convictions on the matter, and even best friends were sometimes seen arguing passionately on the way to the different activities awaiting them.The Ozarks Women's Music Festival only allows entrance to womyn born womyn, and most importantly no alternatively identified species are allowed. An animal such as a squirrel, a robin, or a spider must identify as what they were born as. The same goes for plants. A shrub cannot identify as a bush. A bush cannot identify as a tree or the other way around. Violets cannot be roses. And roses cannot be daffodils. Both of these are strict policy, and they are both enforced most seriously.So in response, many transwomen and transmen arrived to protest, along with a crew of various cats that identify as dogs, humans that identify as Cambrian era sand worms, and catfish that identify as sardines. On top of that one might encounter, deciduous that identify as coniferous, algae that identify as one-celled animals and elephants that identify as hippos. Most of the animals' and plants still preferred to be addressed with the pronoun �it� and others only by name. Of course, for the most part the non-human animals tended to stay in the background, in the woods, in the Black River or only occasionally flying over to perch on some distant vertiginously high branch. In other words, they weren�t really a visible presence.Most of the transwomen and transmen didn�t and weren�t able to show solidarity with their brethren because they weren�t informed and so therefore couldn�t be good allies. What they started together became a tradition. Camp Gender Rebels and Species Freaks. It was such a hit that it has become a separate institution altogether, a large, well-attended and quite chaotic party. In fact most of the trannies, animals and plants, mind you, can�t afford to go to the Ozarks Women�s Music Festival anyway.

Poem I wrote in 2003

2009-09-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

I feel like a brilliant, unloveable, freak of mind winds blowing so strong in my conscious intuition, startling magnified visual phenomena cloud my optic nerves. Love so strong my heart has burst into a thousand tiny fragments, mad love that is beyond expression except as nervous glances or blushes, but no caresses to heal my diseased soul. Mad love that would be worth dying for if it made a fucking difference. Mad love for brilliant people who retain that speck of joy and creativitiy, the kind only children have. I bring forth the storm to awaken from age old hurt. I bring forth the storm to assess the rain honestly. I bring forth that storm to bring me back into my body, to come down from my cross, and live out a small prophecy, an unnoticed prophecy, a prophecy only pertaining to me. A prophecy that will never be recorded in writing or stone but will putrefy and decay with my death. That is my destiny.That is my perogative, that is my ideology, to feel rain on my skin, twirl a bamboo stick, and feel it connected to my heartbeat. A heartbeat that contains uncried tears, a heartbeat that is the pulse of uncreated masterpieces, a heartbeat yet to know or express the depths of intimacy, I hide from the world in my skull, I cry schizophrenic anguish from imagined suicides never to be carried out, but to die and bring forth change. I die and bring forth growth. I've died and died again, and I'm not finished. I was first born 3 billion years ago (give or take a few), I was an aqarius then, and I'm an aquarius now. I am yet to witness a yellow sun grow to a red giant and swallow me in flames and truly know love then, to truly know intimacy then. To watch loneliness die with my heartbeat, your heartbeat, our heartbeats, engulfed in hydrogen flames.

Classic Blog-entry

2009-09-03T08:48:00.001-07:00

I've watched a little television since I've been home. It is really pathological. There are some programs I like, such as Matlock. Not all the programming is bad. But especially the news, it coins all these stupid catch phrases for things such as "obamacare", but there are others. It's not the ideological slant, it's just the simplifying into a catch-all-phrase that I find really disturbing. I would find it disturbing if people who were left or anarchist did the same thing. But then again, I suppose natural selection will deal with these bad ideas eventually, and the good ones will emerge to provide better solutions.

Advertising also I find really disturbing because it's so designed to manipulate, it's perhaps controversial whether it's really effective at this, regardless, I find it really disturbing the lengths of sleaziness people go to to try to manipulate people into buying their stuff, or perhaps in a more conspiracy-theory Ad and the Ego thing, to turn people into slavish-insecure consumers. It doesn't to me seem as effective as the people doing it think it is. It's like a bad con, and it makes me think of Crass' slogan "who do they think they are fooling? You?" It's bad, and obvious manipulation. But it wouldn't be so obvious if I hadn't freed myself from some of the indoctrination and conditioning. And I say that realizing that at the same time that the manipulators are some of the most insecure people, conditioned people, they are not free. it seems so un-natural to want to manipulate others. It also seems un-natural to be manipulated. it's an abusive dynamic as interesting as it is disturbing. it seems just as much of a mistake to feel disheartened or powerless because of it. The school bully bullies because he's afraid. People manipulate and oppress for the same seemingly un-natural reasons. When I hear the fake kind of politician speak, there's something incredibly un-natural in the tone of voice, the speed of the speech, this fear that comes through of not accomplishing enough. the people who do advertising rationalize I'm sure why it is not just emotionally dishonest immature crap that they are creating. Some advertising seems really frighteningly effective. The Folgers commercial had me craving a warm cup of coffee, and it's images of the person waking up from sleep, the steaming coffee, the dancers dancing to the theme song. That was an effective commercial. I was thinking to myself, "Is Folgers really that good?" But I have to say, it was a little less full of some of the disturbing aspects of other commercials. I think the movie the Ad and the Ego which I watched almost a decade ago, and haven't seen since, really made it impossible not to see the game advertising plays. There is definitely a false-omnicience in portrayals of totalitarian states. When I read Gulag Archipalago, that really called attention to me that what went on under Stalin was more of a mass stupidity unaccountable police state where backstabbing your neighbor was rewarded and enough people were in an immature enough state to try to get other people in trouble. What I read in that, is a phenomenon that exists everywhere, even here. But it wasn't the state of omnicient evil that Hollywood portrays of totalitarianism. I would imagine the blue caps, the NKVD, anyone I know could pull a fast one on them, because their head is in the mud. And people who are obsessed with un-virtous goals are not Lex Luthor's, they're more like racist, fearful klansmen. Frighteningly enough, Hitlers and Stalins are not possessed with genius evil, they are possessed with self-righteous myopia and short sidedness, trapped in their own delusions of what they think is going on, but isn't.

Don't know

2009-08-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

I don't know anything, that's pretty much what it comes down to. I can't even hardly pretend to. But I haven't ceased wanting...