Public Diary Entry

I'm watching a vid of Byron Katie and music, I call it sat-guru music. It's Mozart's Requiem in this case. I use Google Videos to do both. I got sucked into some in depth arguments on Cult Education Forum. This is my impression. That cult education forum views an assembly of people who are in a healthier psychological state as a cult. It was interesting. There definition of "cult" definitely overstepped the bounds of anything I would consider negative. It did occur to me that questioning thoughts which is what Byron Katie advocates would undermine the power of authority figures, abusive spouses, pseudo-religious figures, dictators, political propaganda, advertising, corporations with dishonest, unethical practices, people whose empathy is compromised in the case of non-human animals.. Her process called the Work involves 4 questions. Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it is true? How does this thought affect you? How would you be without this thoughts? And turning it around to an opposite statement. It seems an effective way to clear up someone's own confusion and I've definitely utilized it. My impression, my strong intuition is that Byron Katie is a Jnani. A Jnani has no ego, no duality, and so they are (if these statements are true) is that a true Jnani is my own Self, the self of all. So everything they do and say reflects that. Byron Katie with non-convoluted teachings strikes me as a true Jnani. (I believe pronounced Yah-Nee) It is a sanskrit term for one who knows, possesses Knowledge. The Knowledge is not intellectual knowledge or a line of thinking. I think it is summed up most effectively in Nome's letter to me. "As love is far more fulfilling than any amount of approval, as true Knowledge is infinitely deeper than any kind of thinking, your true Self is far more expansive and substantial then the ego notion and its attendent tendencies that form the illsory personality" The dream I lived before engaging in intense spiritual practice which was something I sort of fell into was not good. The story I envisioned. And oh how much of it was mental? In the last few weeks, interesting things have happened. Trek in the Park, watching Lost with friends. I have this friend I talk with on Portland state Campus, I gave him almost all of my most precious spiritual books, gladly. I'm noticing the core of all religion, spirituality is essentially unitary. From reading Maharshi, to St. Catherine Of Sienna dialogues, to even the New Testement (hopefully all of my anarchist, atheist friends will still call even though I mentioned that taboo --laugh) To me, it's all the same. All of the differences, all the bigotries are just obvious misinterpretations. The Quran, New Testement, Bhagavad Gita, sounds like the same brilliance to me, heck, even Carl Sagan (Demon Haunted World), Arthur C. Clarke, John Zerzan. I don't notice conflicting perspectives hardly anymore. Several hours I had a Vasana arise (sanskrit for a tendency to suffer). Catherine Of Sienna had taken a vow of celibacy at age 7. Remember, what time period she lived in, the 1300s. However, I've never really had that option to be romantic, sexual, either for psychological, or autistic spectrum issues. I'm inclined to believe the latter. I've been happy more then 90% of the time in recent times, and this hasn't changed. Sure, lots of flirtation, more then ever, but turning into a romantic/sexual relationship. No. Anyway my friend was sarcastic when he read the back of Catherine Of Sienna dialogues that she doesn't know what she missed out on. And I felt this suffering deep in my gut. Oh, what I've missed out on. But on deeper examination, only because I didn't know happiness was within. If happiness isn't within, then phenomenal existence, it's goods and bads, its fortunates and unfortunates seem to matter. Then I feel sorry for myself. But more and more I realize through earnests spiritual discrimination, and correspondence with a Realized sage, Jnani, that happiness is the infinite nature of the true Self which doesn't get altered die, and isn't even born. In direct, experience of this intoxicating and unalterable Bliss, nothing can harm me, nothing can take anything away, and everyone is me, so everything I could ever want is always possessed in the deepest communion. So the phenomenal does not matter, the status or lack of status of relationships, my physical location, health, length of bodily life, anything, those don't matter. Is there any other way to live? My earnest practice continues...