Exciting Nome dialogue

Another Q.: I have deep experience, but,then, I say to myself, “but.” You have directedmy mind inward and instructed me to inquire10as to who has that “but.” There is always a trailor trace of that one. There is always somethingfrom which to trace it inwards. I am seeing thatthere is something to be eliminated.
N.: Alright. So, the Maharshi says thatthe ego is a ghost with no form of its own, thatit feeds on forms, but when sought, it runsaway.
Q.: If it leaves a form, it is good to eliminatethat as a possibility.
N.: Yes, your inquiry should always bethorough. Both the ego notion and the apparentdefinition, the form that trailsbehind it, should be eliminated. How wouldthe trail remain if there is no one who has it?
Q.: (laughing). It would not be possible.
N.: If you do not allow for the trails, howwould a ghost with no form of its own survive?
Q.: There is that link. The ability toinquire is determined by how little one’s mindis going outward. If my mind is going outward,there is no way that I can look moredeeply into myself.
N.: Isn’t it the other way around? If youare looking at yourself, there is no way thatyour mind can go outward.
Q.: (laughing) Oh yes!
N.: Outward is the projection ofillusion within the mind itself, which is thenerroneously regarded as if external.
Q.: (quiet for awhile) When I say that Iwant to find out who I am, the ability to do soseems to become better as I eliminate what isobjective. My mind becomes more focusedand clearer. It could be more focused. It seemsto me to be a matter of eliminating more andcontinuing to look.
N.: When you focus, is such a matter ofthinking a particular way, or is it somethingdeeper?Q.: The essence is always deeper. Maybeit is a byproduct?
N.: The thoughts may coincide with orexpress the essence. Is the essence a thoughtor something else?
Q.: The essence is deeper than thought.If it were thought, that would be no good forthat is part of what is being eliminated.
N.: There would be no freedom or realbliss in that.
Q.: Yes. It seems as if it is a byproduct.Is that true that there is always the focus whenit… it seems to go hand-in-hand, but doesn’talways. Sometimes, the Truth comes shiningthrough, even when the mind is not reallyfocused.
N.: So, concentration, or focus, in asmuch as that is regarded as a particular line ofthinking, is not the determining factor ofKnowledge, is it? When you inquire, is itbecause you think along a particular line?Does that constitute the inquiry? Or, is somethingelse occurring?
Q.: I still believe that it is thinking alonga certain line.
N.: What is your experience? Is that true?
Q.: No, it isn’t true.
N.: You just made quick work of your11belief. (laughter)
Q.: That is part of the whole object-ificationthat is being jettisoned. The mind’sfocusing is not necessarily a problem. It cannotobstruct what is real. It doesn’t seemto… (pauses)
N.: Is there anything obstructingRealization? The power of your belief isrooted in yourself. That is a reason whybelief can be a wonderful thing. Whatobstructs Realization? What makes you thinkthat you are not realized? What makes youthink that there is someone, you, who is anunrealized entity, or a being?
Q.: Do you want the list? (laughter)
N.: Hmm, hmm. All of it.
Q.: (laughing) It is a fictitious puff thatdoes not last very long. It does not hold up. Icould list things, but they don’t have muchweight. It doesn’t even look that interesting.(laughter).
N.: How can an uninteresting,fictitious, ephemeral “puff,” as you put it, bean obstruction to the Realization of the Self?
Q.: Uh, maybe that is the way allillusion is, actually. It really is very boring.(laughter). There is certainly not anythingjuicy or great in it.N.: There is no happiness in it.
Q.: But…
N.: Okay, it is juiceless.
Q.: No divine nectar there. (laughter)
N.: Juiceless, essenceless, tasteless.(laughter)
Q.: Unreal. Yet, for some reason, Ibelieve that there is reality, myself, there.
N.: What is the basis of that belief?
Q.: The basis must be myself.
N.: How can you, yourself, be anobstruction to the Realization of your ownSelf? It appears as that, because there is nothingelse, yet how can that occur? How canthe Unborn give birth to illusion?
Q.: I don’t know. A bad habit?
N.: A habit has to be for someone.Whose habit?
Q.: Yes, it cannot be for anything grosser.It won’t be for the body, and it won’t be forthe mind, even though it seems that it partakesof the mind.
N.: All that is imagined. You do notbecome this thing or that thing. You cannot bethis of be that. Just Being alone is.(silence)