In my early twenties I was an utter mess. I was so incredibly socially anxious, my reality was hallucenatory in a way that I did not know how to deal with. How to deal with it? I was full of infatuation, metaphysical terror, nightmares, but at heart earnest persistence, intent on bringing all the elements together, weaving a brilliant tapestry, an inspiring happy ending out of the threads made available. My housemate brought me to this filipino martial arts class, Escrima, specifically Eskabo Daan, and this magical martial art, started moving things, in a pristine magical way. When I was 22, I sunk into a very intense and interesting state, I described as being "permatripped", potentially schizophrenic, now I realize I was blessed with a beautiful opportunity, to be true to myself, the Self, to realize a deep abiding happiness. What seemed insane, now seems to be incredible beatitude, and courage, what seemed hallucenatory, now seems to be a communion with nature, and every being, what was once described as madness, is now egoless Realization of the Truth.
Journal
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