Whisked Away (An anecdote about going with Serendipity)

Picture is supposed to be of the silicon and oxygen atoms in quartz (i like the colors)

ser·en·dip·i·ty
play_w2("S0279300")
(srn-dp-t)
n. pl. ser·en·dip·i·ties
1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.
3. An instance of making such a discovery.

jñānī — one who is in knowledge

I woke up this morning checked my school schedule and headed to school to attend my lab at 10am. More and more life becomes a joy in itself, not because of something, not because of hopes that could be fulfilled, and there is less of the worries, less of concern for even how long the body lives. As I was boarding the elevator to go to class, this person who I like got in, because she was excited that we were in lab together and were going to be at the same table, I walked into the classroom she was in. The whole time, and I'm continuously attempting the dissolution of the subject of experiences, because it becomes clear to me, that grace, truth, serendipity, everything good is in the absence of the I, and in the absence of the I, I connect with others, heart to heart, without trying to, ironically the body is supremely functional and multi-tasking. Because I notice that with the arising of the ego, arises suffering, a past a future, hopes and worries, I am an aspiring Jnani. After a turmultuous ride on the cycle of hopes and worries, pleasures and pains, perhaps births and deaths, I want a little rest in self-ward bliss, union with God(dess). As soon as the I arises, there is this sense of frustration, agitation, apprehension, and then those states result in actions that are not from calm, well thought out. Anyway even though I was a bit worried, when I found out I was in the wrong class (microbiology instead of DNA recombinance), I trusted the serendipity of having run into that person I like, and anyway it all seemed to work out. But since there is still this ego notion, and because of that ego notion, individual I's, subjects arise, which are not real, are not me. The more I dissolve them, I realize that unified, one Self, that isn't even an individual but is completely innocent, purified, sensitive, free-spirited, and supposedly there is only That, and it is eternal, does not progress through time, is supreme bliss, since there is only that One, it is the Real in everyone, it is the love from me, to me, the beauty of everything and everyone, so it is also the highest state of union. I can trust that the more I dive into that bliss, that the actions of the body are the correct ones, although I try not to regret what are known as tamasic states, agitated states, and even if I unwisely acted on them. I recollect the Inquiry, dissolve the subjects, including the meditator.